The climb

1am... My body clock buzzes. It's time to head towards the acme of my trip... Iztachuatl ("Sleeping Woman" in Nuatl - The language of the Aztecs). The imagery had me fascinated! The climb would begin at her feet, up her knees, down her stomach (a glacier of modest proportions), up her breasts (the highest point on this particular woman).

Before the climb begun, I still looked at Popo with a strong element of yearning. We were right there... in its lap and chose to climb the safer volcano. That was simply not my way of doing things.

Hilarion and I quietly ready ourself in the pitch dark... our hands steady... our faces taut. 12 hours to the summit(s) didn't require much... Crampons, Hiking Poles, a headlamp, 2 liters of water, a banana, a couple of chocolate bars and a fair amount of determination.

"Como Estas?", Hilarion asks, breaking the silence...

"Perfecto!"

We sit for a couple of minutes slightly hunched looking into the topography of the route we were about to take. Hilarion did not know my proclivity for high altitudes and nor did I. He was to make the decisions after 5,000 meters (assuming that I'll be too tired to think straight).

The first step I took upward... the mild disappointment of not being able to climb Popo was washed away by the vision of the starry skies above and the small patch of the path illuminated before us by our headlamps while our boots crunched the ice and rock strewn across the jagged slopes.

My head swarmed with a myriad thoughts that seemed to complement the sky bursting forth with little dots of light.

"Why do you like the mountains?" I directed one such thought at Hilarion.

"Well Miguel"... he answers, "because the mountains are honest and the true nature of people is exposed here."

I smiled.

At 4,800 meters, I could not feel my hands any more and the pressure on my lungs had become apparent because i was actually panting! I kept monitoring my bodily dynamics at these altitudes with great fascination. I knew about the lactic acid deposits that agonize the muscles at such low levels of oxygen but didn't feel it at all throughout my experience. I have my passion for running to thank for that.

I drift back into my world of thoughts... thoughts about what mattered most in my life. Thoughts about the moments I was creating and the moments that had gone by. The world around seemed to highlight my life and stress my existence more than any other place I have ever been. I knew, that very moment, the future I was heading towards. The only question was "when" and not "whether or not".

The wind beats against us with a vengeance as we climb incessantly towards the black sky as though punishing us for the impudence of our actions and dreams. The mountain path quickly disappearsleaving us with rocks shaped like broken glass protruding from the snow (ubiquitous at this altitude).

All I could hear then was the protesting gasps of my lungs, the threatening wind and the songs of my soul.

Time passed quickly as we climbed up the knees and soon the sky began turning reddish orange towards the east and as we reach the first summit (5000 meters) the sun begins its majestic ascent. Its rays cut through the freezing winds smothering our skin with a pleasant warmth. The fatigue creeping into my body was quickly forgotten with the vision that unfolded as the sun threw its light over the spectacular vision of snow clad mountains that seemed to rise from a thick blanket of clouds. Hilarion and I embrace each other on the first summit partly in celebration of our first victory and partly because we happy and understood each others happiness. It is one of those moments when one can share completely an emotion as intimate as bliss with a stranger simply because of a complete mutual understanding of that bliss.

As we bask for a while in the warmth of the sun, I look at the final summit which seemed a world away...

"Feeling alright?"

"I can still fight a bull.." I said to myself with a faint dizziness and an undaunted smile.

Hilarion seemed to understand. He smiled back and we climb onward.

My crampons lied unused in my backpack. The glaciers were not as deep as they used to be... thanks to global warming. Nevertheless, the glistening white ice spotted with volcanic rock jutting out like shark fins.

Hilarion had been here plenty of times and yet i sensed a subtle pleasure in him as he did it yet again.

I'm often asked why mountaineers do what they do. Doesn't it cause pain? Isn't it closer to self-afflicted torture? Why should a human put oneself through all that as a choice?

I ask myself these questions sometimes... I get the answer every step of my journey upwards. It isn't the summit that drives me. My destination is my journey. It feels like my whole life condensed into every single moment. A moment brimming with a melange of pain and pleasure... a moment where I stand naked and proud in the face of everything life throws at me.

Am I glorifying my existence? Definitely not! I'm simply making a statement of fact. I am the center of my universe. That makes me an egotist not an egoist. But, even that doesn't matter. Labels are like a haystack in a blizzard... ephemeral.

Surrounded by the stupendous power and sheer magnificence of nature, some feel humbled, others intimidated, others afraid and some completely placid. I feel me. The implication of that sensation is of an equal and innate power complementing the power surrounding me.

Purity, truth, strength, pride... this is what the mountains evoke in me. The pain is only a small fragment of this journey.

This is as simple an answer as I can give.

Crunching our way through the glacier, we finally approach the final climb... These are the moments when I put to test everything I believe in. I fervently claim the power of mind over body. I felt gushes inside that said "Stop!" My brain analyzed and presented me with all the possible consequences of moving on and none were very pleasant. Yet, somewhere inside, a faint whisper simply said "not yet." Why I listened to the whisper, i do not know... But, that whisper felt more intimate to me than everything else.

"I can still reach that summit and beyond." I said this to myself as a statement of fact not for motivation or inspiration but simply as the only possible truth.

The feeling is beautifully strange... Every step at that altitude sapped every ounce of energy from every part of my body unleashing more energy from unknown reservoirs.

We reached the summit... 5250 meters. A long embrace and a smile was all I offered and nothing else was necessary.

As usual, it was not a sense of achievement that I felt. Every summit that I have climbed simply feels like stepping into a space that I can call home. I was home every step of the way and the summit was like the manifestation of that spirit. It was simply like stopping and saying it out loud... "I'm home."

Around me was infinity with only one invitation in the midst of the endless horizons... Popocatepetl. It stood there level with the summit that I stood upon, smoking away, and beckoning me to make another journey.

After a while I hear Hilarion... "The weather is going to close in".

I wasn't bothered until he said... "We should start moving down"

It never strikes me that moving downward is part of the journey... It's the most painful part of the climb.

Though most climber consider this the more pleasant bit of climbing, I feel it can be much harder than the climb itself especially with a pair of hard (slightly smaller than required) CAT working books on. Ouch! The weight shifted from the heel to the toes and the resultant blisters were enough to make every downward step feel like a shard of coarse metal grinding excruciatingly against my bruised skin... and the trip down had only just begun.

However, the descent had it's ecstatic parts (I won't say moments since climbing down seemed to take forever). The most fun (and incidentally, the most painful part) was this stretch of steep, muddy surface where we had to step, slip and ski all at the same time while (skillfully!) avoiding the numerous rocks sticking out from the soft red mud as though mocking our impudence with their own. After making a glorious mess of things initially... stumbling, tumbling, making every mistake possible, i finally mastered the art of mud skiing (for that is what I will call it henceforth).

After what seemed like ages, we reached base camp and as is my nature, I turn back to see the summit and smile thinking of the journey and amazed at myself (yet again).

On our way back, Popo looms on the horizon one last time and I look at it knowing fully well that I will face it again. So, I didn't say goodbye.

Towards the skies

So, here I am... in the lap of the Popo-Iztac Volcanoes. I am jubilant and excited about the prospect of reaching the summit at 5,250 meters in the morning tomorrow.

Reaching here was a fascinating journey. In Cholula, I went around asking the locals how to get to Popo. Nobody had a clue. Just as I was checking out of my hotel determined to walk the 40kms to base camp using only my compass not knowing if I would ever make it there, in a stroke of pure serendipity, my glance was riveted by the image of a man rappelling from the wall of a cave. It was a shabby pamphlet stuffed into a box on the reception of this cheap hostel. It was the brochure of some high altitude mountain guides. A call to these guys changed the course of my travel completely. For a paltry sum of money, they agreed to help me get to base camp and lead the trail to the summit. Delightful!

This way I actually had a chance of getting to the summit which considering my constantly protesting body seemed a distant dream (nevertheless, a dream that I was determined to pursue) especially if I spent most of my energy walking to base camp.

The next 2 days have been filled with some wonderful moments characterized by my rendezvous with people and nature. It was the first time since a long time since I actually got along with people with such ease and I the mountains provided me with the answer. One of the thoughts that struck me on my way up here which I shared with my mountain guide was that it takes a great amount of honesty of spirit to have a love for being in the mountains. This honesty or purity of spirit stems from the fact that in the wilderness you are confronted with an innate magnified reflection of nothing but yourself.

Popo is on a “Level II” alert as I write this. This is the second highest level of volcanic activity. Level III meant evacuation of all neighboring towns, I was told. Climbing was suspended and despite my attempts at convincing my guide, he politely refused to take me up there telling me the story of a man who almost died trying to get up there only a month ago. What he did not realize was that that did not work as a deterrent in my case. Nevertheless, Popo flanks another volcano called Iztachuatl which is 50 meters lower in altitude.

Naked, dangerous, virgin beauty awaits me and I will respond to its call. I feel like the space around me is sculpted with me being the center of this universe. I feel like it is mine… The snow, the rock, the ash, the wisps of grass, the flowers, the scuttling mice and geckos, the rolling slopes, the jagged cliffs, the hanging clouds, the chilled and fragrant air that fills my lungs, the music of the birds punctuated by a blissful silence...

Only one phrase rings within me at this moment, like the notes of a symphony of the song of my life… La pura vida… La dolce vida…

Cholula

2 days to Popo

I sit here on the zocalo of Cholula, away from Puebla, closer to Popo with my usual lack of directions other than that of the magnificent sight that greets me on the horizon. The locals here don´t seen as fascinated as I am by the volcano that looms over their tiny town. People in Puebla told me I was crazy to choose Popo over La Malinche (A much safer, more tourist friendly, dormant volcano to the north-east of Puebla compared to the constantly threatening demeanor of Popocatepetl).

The tour operator was too expensive... and i don´t want a tour... Maybe I´ll find a local guide who knows the mountains... I must get to the other side to the town of Amecameca. That´s my only ticket back to Geneva since I´m absolutely not in the mood to turn back to the more familiar town of Puebla.

If only time had no limits, I would not have to worry about getting to Mexico City by a certain time and day. It is, however, critical that I get back... I have plenty of unfinished business and something to look forward to.

So, I will now forget about my semi-recovered body and all my worldly qualms and learn how far a man can go with a strong thumping heart.

Until then... Buenas Noches...

1 day to Popo

Dusty old shoes, dirty jeans, an idle knife dangling by the waist, a crumpled shirt thrown off taut shoulders, lying amongst the rocks, ruffled hair, an unkempt beard and eyes fixed upon the sillhouete of a volcano on the horizon.

It is 7 in the morning and I stand on a little hill towering over the quaint and humble little town called Cholula with the towers of some 50 churches within my range of sight. Maybe, I try convincing myself, it´s the fear of this giant furnace on the horizon that drives them to the seek refuge in religion... Alas, I know better.

This thought quickly drifts away with the sight of my only companions flying north... whle some happily hop around me searching for bits of food... The sparrows remind me of freedom... of ebullience... of life...

My hands are cold and my heart is afire with visions of what is to come. As of this moment, I am confronted by a strange conundrum... The vision of Popo is in front of me while the Sun glows at my back and I laugh aloud with the ecstacy of the choice... by the fullness of this moment.

Buenos Dias... Popo, here I come :-)

A walk into the night

A white spray settling on lush green,
glistening in the soft moonlight.

The sight is like a texture in itself
but my heart could not resist the urge
to touch the soft wet blanket of grass.

I bend over and allow my fingers
to be swallowed by those tender blades.

Enraptured in the sheer luxury of the sensation
I spend the moment in pure bliss...

Life! That's the difference!
A fearless embrace to life!

I see it here.
I just heard its manifestation
in the most energized drumming I've ever heard.

Three men and one woman drumming
the beats of their lives... WIld and fReE

PoWErFUL and ecSTatiC

sYnChRoNiSeD and SOULful

and then the language... Spanish...
it rings out like the beats of the drums...

Tortas Cubana y Moca Frio! Ah!
Perfect companions for this night...

and this is the perfect end to a day in Puebla...
i walk back with a new found friend
walking by me like he has known me for years...
bright eyes... brisk steps... black, brown and white fur
thick and untidy like the hair on my head! :-)

Rippling into eternity

There are times when I want time to stop, times when I forget about the notion of time and other times when I want time to fly by.

The last feeling is particularly unnerving because it would imply that I’m spending my time doing something I’m not passionate about and every moment of my life is simply too precious for that.

I felt like that a moment ago until I picked up my pen and began writing these words. “It must be my throbbing foot,” I think… No, the answer is deeper than that. Even though every step I take seems like an infinite agony being taken more on the strength of my will than my foot. I make this effort for what is to come.

An orchard of fresh blossoms awaits the demise of every tribulation. The space around me is redolent with the fragrance of my own being (and the wafting fragrances emanating from my sweaty socks). These are the moments that there is more to life than suffering. The fatigue and pain will soon wear off and I shall walk yet again into that mysterious horizon with undaunted steps emancipated from the burdens of convention.

Life is so simple. I strived to understand it when it seemed like a blurry vision similar to what one would encounter in the 10th round of a fight. I’m into my 11th round and my vision is returning, my moves are more agile and I take hits so scarcely that I’m overcome with a desire to self-inflict some shots just to know what it felt like. All this while thinking, “What next?”

Why not try to understand the mysteries of creationism as against evolution? It reminds me of my voyage, not that long ago, into the murky realm of religion to unravel its evasive rationale. I found my answers. Now, I feel like moving on to another question.

There are always higher peaks to climb. But, there may also come a time when I look down and feel completely comfortable with my perch with no stabbing desire to climb anymore, not because I lost the passion for it but simply because I am perched on the highest peak there is. I have realized my true nature, beyond human limits. I wonder what it would feel like to stop and smell the flowers in the lush gardens of my memories of moments that I treasure most. I wonder what it would feel like to lie amongst these and die.

Until then, I climb.

Michelle

Michelle. My home for a long time. I've explored alleyways, jungle paths and expressways riding her. The pillion seat has been the perch of some wonderful people with my arms perpetually on the throttle.

Saying goodbye to her was like bidding farewell to the moments that had gone by. Moments that I cherished and treasured in the depths of my heart. It hurt but, only to a certain extent.

I will ride into the horizons once again.

This is what I wrote the first time I rode her.

The fatigue of the day
deflated by this moment of flight,

the darkness washed out
by a beam of light.

My heart beats in a body of steel
fueled by the vision of the road, i feel.

Solo riding... Destination Thar

I was a proud owner of a new bike. A Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 350cc steed that I decided to christen as Michelle. Apart from the daily commuting, I hadn’t put Michelle up to a real challenge for around 2 months. “How about a cross-country?” I asked myself…”Why not!” the immediate answer came. I rushed to the nearest bookstore, bought myself a map of India (something long forgotten since school days) and began route planning over some lassi.

Kanyakumari to Kashmir? Sounds good... Works as great branding too. But, let’s look at it practically. I had two weeks to devote to traveling after which I needed to find a way to make money again. Kanyakumari to Kashmir was definitely possible in two weeks if I rode constantly for a 4000 odd kms. Oh! And then I had to get my bike back to Mumbai. My idea of traveling was not simply letting the world around me breeze past. I wanted more halts and more interaction with people and places.

A bunch of my friends were heading for a rickshaw run at around that time from Cochin to Darjeeling. I then considered taking Michelle side by side with their rickshaw. Wouldn’t work again! The average speed of the rickshaw was way below that of Michelle and these guys had a very stringent deadline to meet.

Frustrated with the ‘buts’, I decided to think within my limitations of time and money. I had 15,000 rupees to spend on this trip and 2 weeks. Michelle would give me an average of 30kmpl. I then decided to explore any neighboring state that was worth a ride. Thumbing around Maharashtra within 5 seconds I knew where I was heading… Rajasthan.

It was a land I had found fascinating since childhood but never had a chance to visit. So, the decision was made. Now moving on to the route planning and the budgeting. Some critical points to remember while charting out your route are:

1. Get hold of a lonely planet or anything similar to get a feel of the places you might want to visit.
2. Chart out the distances. This is pivotal for calculating fuel expenditure (A huge chunk of the budget).
3. National and state highway access. Will help in estimating average speed and time. Any other roads could mean a serious hindrance and eat into your itinery.
4. Route back home. Don’t forget to build that into your last stop!
5. There is an 80% probability that your route will change when you reach there. Don’t over plan and keep your mind free for building in suggestions from locals and alterations made necessary through your own experiences.

After running through the entire plan and budget, it looked like the whole trip was in place. The calculations worked out to around 7000 rupees for fuel and another 7000 for stay and food. It fit in quite snuggly into my budget. In case of any emergency I would always have enough to get back home.

I told some people about this plan for more inputs. Most felt it was great until someone came up with the point of me going alone. I told her about my ‘self-sufficient’ nature but was faced with a retort that gave me plenty of food for thought. “What if you have a bike failure in the middle of nowhere?” I hadn’t tested Michelle on such a long continuous drive. My friend had a point.

I started looking around for a pillion rider. I didn’t have to look around for long. I had a neighbor who was as enthusiastic about the whole plan as I was and we got along well. So that was that.

We took off at 5am on a cool Monday morning in January with nothing but the excitement of the moment (and a little extra baggage). Our route to Rajasthan was right through Gujarat using the NH8. A long butt crunching journey led us to Ahmedabad by daybreak.

The itinery after Ahmedabad was quite relaxed with one or two day stops at some places. Our first stop was Mt’ Abu, the only hill station in Rajasthan. I must mention that we were freezing right through the ride, Michelle's thumping in harmony with our clattering teeth as we took the winding road up to Mt’ Abu.

After that came Ajmer, Pushkar, Jodhpur and Jaisalmer. Each city had so much to offer and learn from. The people, monuments, culture and food have an almost soothing effect on a hard-bred Mumbaite. However, I would still ask travelers not to let their guard down completely. The places which I rode into were all quite touristy (Lonely Planet being to blame for that). I’ll definitely build in an element of unpredictability for my next trip involving more anonymous locations.

Michelle wasn’t always thumping away to glory either. She gave me a fair amount of problems starting with battery failure at Mt’ Abu, overheating at Ajmer and a flat tyre in the middle of the Thar. All these were sorted out with the help of a benevolent local in every location (even the flat tyre!). We seemed to have had guardian angels posted at each location.

Out of all the places I had been to, Jaisalmer and Mt’ Abu left the biggest impact in terms of people, culture and architecture. Of course, Jodhpur had the magnificent Meherangarh fort. But, the rest of Jodhpur was like an ordinary city. Pushkar had a much more impressive mélange of people and places. Ajmer reminded me of Mohammed Ali Street!

Ahh! Then there was the golden sand of Thar experienced on Hrithik Roshan’s back. Hrithik was my camel’s name incase you raised an eyebrow. The camel rider boasting about how fast Hrithik was in the annual camel race second only to Michael Jackson!

This was a complete potpourri of experiences. Our trip consisted of lovely cities punctuated by vast expanses of land with a black streak running through it like a crack. Sleeping in dusty beds in cheap hotels punctuated by lazing on a cot in the sun at some nondescript highway dhaba.
We touched down in Colaba at 4pm after 14 days and 3030 kms of riding with outlandish sunburns, dirty clothes, plenty of learning, another battery failure, empty pockets and broad smiles!