There are moments in life when you see a vision so clearly that it pierces through your being. I saw it today, too clearly to be a passing fantasy. I saw evil again, human evil, coldness to life and everything associated with it.
I saw visions of gunfire, blood, screams and tears as i felt my own soaking my palms. Men, women and children being killed. Cameramen, soldiers and civilians being massacred.
This is the essence of humanity. This is my world. This is where I belong.... On the front lines of hell.
Sunday 18 November 2007
Fire in ice
My eyes open to a dull light from a Grey sky through my window. No bird chirping, no leaves fluttering. The birds have migrated and the leaves have all fallen and here I am, waking up to another morning in this cold neighborhood. A Sunday morning and I feel like starting my day with a bang!
"How about a run?", I ask myself. Something inside my shuddered with the cold that my body would feel if I stepped out and something else inside me smiled.
I step onto the desolate roads while the city slept to greet the day. 30 minutes and my hands are painfully frozen, feet sore with the blisters I earned the day before. It's amazing how the thoughts seem so startlingly clear and fluid, when one is in pain or being tested. Visions begin to cascade like the road flowing beside me. Visions of cliffs, heat, ice, rocks, the sky, my hands, a sword, intensity, love, war, peace, memories, Michelle... My feet keep thudding under me, protesting and performing nevertheless.
Time flew by like a gentle caress. Without realizing it, I had broken yet another one of my records... 1 hr 20 minutes!
Back at home, the hot water burnt my skin... I felt like doing it again. Running into the city, not knowing where, not knowing how, just running. It felt like a constant battle between the fire inside and the frozen air hitting my body from the outside.
:-) I'm sleepy now!
"How about a run?", I ask myself. Something inside my shuddered with the cold that my body would feel if I stepped out and something else inside me smiled.
I step onto the desolate roads while the city slept to greet the day. 30 minutes and my hands are painfully frozen, feet sore with the blisters I earned the day before. It's amazing how the thoughts seem so startlingly clear and fluid, when one is in pain or being tested. Visions begin to cascade like the road flowing beside me. Visions of cliffs, heat, ice, rocks, the sky, my hands, a sword, intensity, love, war, peace, memories, Michelle... My feet keep thudding under me, protesting and performing nevertheless.
Time flew by like a gentle caress. Without realizing it, I had broken yet another one of my records... 1 hr 20 minutes!
Back at home, the hot water burnt my skin... I felt like doing it again. Running into the city, not knowing where, not knowing how, just running. It felt like a constant battle between the fire inside and the frozen air hitting my body from the outside.
:-) I'm sleepy now!
Friday 16 November 2007
From then to now
Looking at my reflection today, i scan the lines drawn tighter across my body. It took me back momentarily to what I had seen in the mirror 2 years, 4 years, 6 years ago. I think about the variations I have seen looking back at me from the silver surface.
From a lofty, soft and ashamed boy to this! I like what I see...
I think back to the condition of my mind and body back then when mobility was only a dream, sometimes so hopelessly unrealistic. I remember going to bed those days seeking comfort in the darkness... weak, alone and insecure. I remember those first steps I took in the athletic stadium. I remember collapsing after 100 meters. I remember the shame that pierced my heart and the pain that seared across my flat feet. I remember what it felt like carrying all that useless weight around like a liability. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Body and mind, in my case were and still are in perfect synchrony. My thoughts and emotions were just as lofty as my steps. I remember the burning desire to change, to run, to question. I remember the struggle and the anguish and the ecstasy that I felt finding my answers and breaking my own limits.
1 km, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and still counting... From a closed, scared, ashamed boy to who I see today looking me in the eye. I won't stop.
I won't stop loving life, embracing myself each day, placing another limit in front of me and watch it shattering to dust. I feel the tendons, harder against my skin, the veins emerging like a river that is gushing with life. I feel my smile.
From a lofty, soft and ashamed boy to this! I like what I see...
I think back to the condition of my mind and body back then when mobility was only a dream, sometimes so hopelessly unrealistic. I remember going to bed those days seeking comfort in the darkness... weak, alone and insecure. I remember those first steps I took in the athletic stadium. I remember collapsing after 100 meters. I remember the shame that pierced my heart and the pain that seared across my flat feet. I remember what it felt like carrying all that useless weight around like a liability. It wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Body and mind, in my case were and still are in perfect synchrony. My thoughts and emotions were just as lofty as my steps. I remember the burning desire to change, to run, to question. I remember the struggle and the anguish and the ecstasy that I felt finding my answers and breaking my own limits.
1 km, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and still counting... From a closed, scared, ashamed boy to who I see today looking me in the eye. I won't stop.
I won't stop loving life, embracing myself each day, placing another limit in front of me and watch it shattering to dust. I feel the tendons, harder against my skin, the veins emerging like a river that is gushing with life. I feel my smile.
My Horizon
Eyes fixed on a horizon
that must be crossed again
Knowing that the closer I get
the farther it moves away from me
All I feel is a burning desire
to keep moving into the unknown
knowing that there will come a time
when i coalesce into the cosmos
knowing that this voyage is endless
knowing that i have but one life to make it
that must be crossed again
Knowing that the closer I get
the farther it moves away from me
All I feel is a burning desire
to keep moving into the unknown
knowing that there will come a time
when i coalesce into the cosmos
knowing that this voyage is endless
knowing that i have but one life to make it
Thursday 15 November 2007
Peace at gunpoint
I've been asked several times... What drives people to killing an innocent human in cold blood? The question to ask is... What does this man FEEL while killing another? Does he feel anything at all? What should be done when such a man has an innocent man, woman or child at gunpoint? Negotiate?
This is the primary function of the UN peacekeeping forces, keeping peace at gunpoint. Using the gun when there is no other way. But, if we think about putting an essentially supra-national humanitarian peacekeeping force that steps in to stop all forms of violence inflicted on innocent people, we cannot possibly think of putting this force under the control of an organization that derives its legitimacy from its member states. These member states have a complex mesh of national political interests at stake that prevents them from taking purely global humanitarian decisions.
So what is the ideal solution?
Creating an armed peacekeeping group not controlled by any nation but by a single truly supra-national organization. What will be required for legitimate intervention is endorsement by nations, especially the government of the nation that is a becoming a victim to mindless violence. Now, what if the government in question is either the cause of the problem or defunct? What becomes necessary in this case is circumventing the system.
Though unfortunate, the reality is this... To be effective in humanitarian intervention, states must be circumvented. The condition of sovereignty stands valid only if the state is effectively responding to violence being inflicted upon it's innocent citizens. So, logically speaking, circumvention is justified. Realistically speaking, such an organization would quickly become illegal... some might even label it as a terrorist group forcing it to go underground.
So this peacekeeping group will need funds. Where will that come from? Governments are out. Private sources are the only solution apart from self-sustaining projects. It will definitely require a huge fund base to fight maniacs with guns and politicians with words.
This is the primary function of the UN peacekeeping forces, keeping peace at gunpoint. Using the gun when there is no other way. But, if we think about putting an essentially supra-national humanitarian peacekeeping force that steps in to stop all forms of violence inflicted on innocent people, we cannot possibly think of putting this force under the control of an organization that derives its legitimacy from its member states. These member states have a complex mesh of national political interests at stake that prevents them from taking purely global humanitarian decisions.
So what is the ideal solution?
Creating an armed peacekeeping group not controlled by any nation but by a single truly supra-national organization. What will be required for legitimate intervention is endorsement by nations, especially the government of the nation that is a becoming a victim to mindless violence. Now, what if the government in question is either the cause of the problem or defunct? What becomes necessary in this case is circumventing the system.
Though unfortunate, the reality is this... To be effective in humanitarian intervention, states must be circumvented. The condition of sovereignty stands valid only if the state is effectively responding to violence being inflicted upon it's innocent citizens. So, logically speaking, circumvention is justified. Realistically speaking, such an organization would quickly become illegal... some might even label it as a terrorist group forcing it to go underground.
So this peacekeeping group will need funds. Where will that come from? Governments are out. Private sources are the only solution apart from self-sustaining projects. It will definitely require a huge fund base to fight maniacs with guns and politicians with words.
Sunday 11 November 2007
Running into the gale
That menacing terrain
against the dark skies
These legs beneath
rooted firmly into the soil
The clouds blanket
the earth like a shroud
These eyes glowing
with will and passion
There's a storm brewing
beating against this being
The heart is afire
and onward treads a lonely soul
Fueled by dreams
of better days.
The end may come
leaving nothing but visions
But, it isn't only the end
but the road to the end that defines us.
against the dark skies
These legs beneath
rooted firmly into the soil
The clouds blanket
the earth like a shroud
These eyes glowing
with will and passion
There's a storm brewing
beating against this being
The heart is afire
and onward treads a lonely soul
Fueled by dreams
of better days.
The end may come
leaving nothing but visions
But, it isn't only the end
but the road to the end that defines us.
Saturday 10 November 2007
Into my dreams
With swollen eyes and throbbing arms
I write this verse to calm my qualms.
The world around seems just the same
It is my soul i think that's tame
A fleeting moment of a numb sensation
that wraps my soul in a dark vexation
What drives the world around me I ask
while somnolence struggles to bring me to task
The long day wanes, the slow moon climbs
alone I tread into the pastures of my dreams
To see another world unfold
a world with many secrets to hold
I bid goodbye to thoughts and words
the day has gone by and I just sigh
I write this verse to calm my qualms.
The world around seems just the same
It is my soul i think that's tame
A fleeting moment of a numb sensation
that wraps my soul in a dark vexation
What drives the world around me I ask
while somnolence struggles to bring me to task
The long day wanes, the slow moon climbs
alone I tread into the pastures of my dreams
To see another world unfold
a world with many secrets to hold
I bid goodbye to thoughts and words
the day has gone by and I just sigh
Tuesday 6 November 2007
The omnipotent capitalist?
So... money drives the world. Firstly, there are three primary reasons to make money; survival, material comforts and power. The first two factors are quite straight forward and free of controversy unless we consider the means to these ends. The third factor is more thought provoking. Money for power... power over people.
What is power over people? The capacity to control them? It is important to understand the kind of people you would control (their motives) and also whether you control them in the truest sense of the word. The kind of people you control would be just like you... wanting to make money for mere survival, material comforts or power. I attach no moral connotation to making money for power over others. I only stipulate that it is not possible. Why? In one of my previous posts, I wrote about freedom. I wrote that we were all born free and are always free and most of us just don't realize it. You can only control a free man to a certain extent and that extent is purely physical. Even that isn't guaranteed. You can control a man's actions with the power of your money. But, can you control his thoughts and feelings?
"As you think, so you are" - Gautama Buddha
I feel this thought is very relevant here, though not complete. I'd rather say; as you think, feel and act, so you are. The crux of the matter is the same though. To control mankind, you will have to control not only the actions but also the thoughts and emotions entrenched in the human psyche.
So, does money move the world? Of course it does. It is beyond doubt that the world is primarily composed of those who lack self respect in some form and who seek approval from outside for a 'self' they do not believe in themselves. Such people will be only too glad to be drawn by the money power you wield. That is a world where money gains you approval. But, does it? You will definitely get nods of approval from most (not all) but, will you get thoughts of approval? Is it really approval if the nod and the thought don't complement each other? We already know the answers to these questions. But, most prefer to turn a blind eye to them, live in denial. It is from such people that the phrase "ignorance is bliss" was born.
So, you can safely assume that you have reasonable (not complete) control over my actions through your capital power. But, this is only until I value your capital power more than my freedom of action.
Money is the means to an end and power over others is not an end. It is a myth.
What is power over people? The capacity to control them? It is important to understand the kind of people you would control (their motives) and also whether you control them in the truest sense of the word. The kind of people you control would be just like you... wanting to make money for mere survival, material comforts or power. I attach no moral connotation to making money for power over others. I only stipulate that it is not possible. Why? In one of my previous posts, I wrote about freedom. I wrote that we were all born free and are always free and most of us just don't realize it. You can only control a free man to a certain extent and that extent is purely physical. Even that isn't guaranteed. You can control a man's actions with the power of your money. But, can you control his thoughts and feelings?
"As you think, so you are" - Gautama Buddha
I feel this thought is very relevant here, though not complete. I'd rather say; as you think, feel and act, so you are. The crux of the matter is the same though. To control mankind, you will have to control not only the actions but also the thoughts and emotions entrenched in the human psyche.
So, does money move the world? Of course it does. It is beyond doubt that the world is primarily composed of those who lack self respect in some form and who seek approval from outside for a 'self' they do not believe in themselves. Such people will be only too glad to be drawn by the money power you wield. That is a world where money gains you approval. But, does it? You will definitely get nods of approval from most (not all) but, will you get thoughts of approval? Is it really approval if the nod and the thought don't complement each other? We already know the answers to these questions. But, most prefer to turn a blind eye to them, live in denial. It is from such people that the phrase "ignorance is bliss" was born.
So, you can safely assume that you have reasonable (not complete) control over my actions through your capital power. But, this is only until I value your capital power more than my freedom of action.
Money is the means to an end and power over others is not an end. It is a myth.
Probability
Mathematics is a marvelous tool for analysis of the present and the past. However, mathematical simulations for the future must be treated as what they really are... possibilities.
On a particular street, out of 100 men, 1 man dies in an accident every month. So, Tom is walking down this street and is wondering what the probability was of him getting hit by a car this month... 1/100. Pretty good chance of being alive then, right? Wham! He's hit by a truck.
Now how did that calculation help. The real answer for Tom's case was 1. If he wasn't hit, it would have been 0. So at any given point of time, the probability for an event taking place is 50%. Either 0 or 1.
That makes the mathematical process of calculating probability redundant right? Wrong again. Imagine a company running a logistics operation based on estimated time lines and cost factors. Now imagine this company operating on a 50% probability model. It will stop functioning. Probability has a high "hit rate", high enough to make profits.
However, taking decisions in one's life based on mathematically determined probabilities is quite elusive. By this, I am not suggesting that everyone steps out of their homes armed to the teeth prepared for war. I am attempting to shift the emphasis from predetermination to spontaneity.
We could start taking life as it comes. Trust our judgment and our ability to act upon them whenever whatever happens.
On a particular street, out of 100 men, 1 man dies in an accident every month. So, Tom is walking down this street and is wondering what the probability was of him getting hit by a car this month... 1/100. Pretty good chance of being alive then, right? Wham! He's hit by a truck.
Now how did that calculation help. The real answer for Tom's case was 1. If he wasn't hit, it would have been 0. So at any given point of time, the probability for an event taking place is 50%. Either 0 or 1.
That makes the mathematical process of calculating probability redundant right? Wrong again. Imagine a company running a logistics operation based on estimated time lines and cost factors. Now imagine this company operating on a 50% probability model. It will stop functioning. Probability has a high "hit rate", high enough to make profits.
However, taking decisions in one's life based on mathematically determined probabilities is quite elusive. By this, I am not suggesting that everyone steps out of their homes armed to the teeth prepared for war. I am attempting to shift the emphasis from predetermination to spontaneity.
We could start taking life as it comes. Trust our judgment and our ability to act upon them whenever whatever happens.
Sunday 4 November 2007
Coincidence
To start with, I will attempt to clarify this term. This is the meaning I attribute to the word through the rest of the posts I dedicate to the issue of coincidence.
It is the occurrence of multiple events at the same time. This makes it sound like quite a harmless term which raises the question... Why is coincidence attributed to divinity of predestined road maps for every event in the past, present and future? Because, it seems uncanny that two people should meet at the same place without any plans to do so more than once? Because, a hatrick is awe inspiring? Because you travel half way around the planet to discover another human being who thinks, feels and acts just like you? Because pure rationale is limiting to explain such startling negations of mere chance? So, should we humble humans do what the majority of our magnificent race indulge in... attribute everything seemingly inexplicable to divinity?
So, is there a master plan? Are we mere puppets in the omnipotent hands of destiny? How do we explain certain happenings that seem almost too good or bad to be true?
Let's embark on a short excursion on the paths of our lives. I will not tread as far as the controversial Adam and Eve but to something more relevant and believable like your parents. Somewhere in their individual lives, out of the billions of people on earth and the thousands of people they were acquainted with, they chose each other. On one particular day, a particular sperm cell from you father fused with the ovum of you mother and that managed to find its way back to the uterus and fuse with it marking the beginning of a new life... you. Do you see how narrow the possibility was even for your existence. Had one little link been out of place, you would not exist and I only went as far as your parents. Think about the Big Bang, Dinosaurs, Apes, Evolution, epidemics, wars and numerous other factors and you will feel the full intensity of your very existence. Getting here wasn't easy.
Every day, without realizing it, you have probably evaded death, saved lives, walked past the person you will be spending the rest of your life with after 2 years, probably even shortened somebody's life... who knows?!
So what makes things happen in us and around us? Firstly, human choices. A Chinese businessman might get tired of his bourgeois lifestyle and choose to reduce raw material expenditure in his toys to increase profit. In the US, you choose to buy this particular toy on the shelf of Walmart that you think your child will like. You child likes chewing on the toy more than playing with it. He dies of lead poisoning. It might sound extremely grave but let's face it, it's a possibility. The hundreds of billions of choices, not only your own but also of everyone around you, that have gone into you being where you are is no laughing matter.
The second factor is natural circumstances or quirks of mother nature. Earthquakes, volcanoes, cyclones, a snapped electrical conduit, an oil spill... I don't have to elaborate on this I'm sure.
So the bottom line here is that any occurrence is a melange of choices (everybody's) and natural circumstances (quirks).
What I do not understand is why does tomorrow have to be predestined. Even if one sits down to calculate the probability of an event happening tomorrow, we are walking a tightrope when dealing with the highly complex and uncertain variables involved. The predictions will have to be made considering the likelihood of a natural (uncontrollable and unforeseeable) event happening at a particular time in the future accompanied with a certain choice made not only by you but also by everyone affecting you. The easiest variable to predict would be your choices though even this requires a tremendous amount of insight into human nature and is still not fool proof.
We've definitely come a long way in the science and art of prediction but lets not fool ourselves with the presence of divine interventions. Agreed, we cannot explain certain events of mammoth proportions like the creation of the universe and the genesis of life. But, that is an indicator not of god's infinite powers but our own limited intellect. Whatever makes us think that the human race is the smartest species in the universe! There are definitely realms of knowledge far too complex for our brains as things stand today. I'm not being a cynic but quite blatantly optimistic about human potential. We have come this far and I believe we will get much farther if only we live our lives by our virtues and not our weaknesses.
From coincidences to god... One could ask about what brought about the shift of my flow of thought. Humans try to glamorize their lives. Why? Because they think it isn't significant the way it is. Add some magical presence external to our beings capable of transforming our humble existence into something meaningful and you've caught the attention of the majority. What they don't realize is that we are already magnificent just the way we are. Born free with the virtue of potential for productive endeavor.
I am immediately taken back to what Ayn Rand stood for. "My philosophy", she said, "in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest ability, and reason his only absolute."
So things happen the way they do happen not because there are some unknown designs to your life that were drawn out by this divine entity that many call God but simply because of the intricate interaction of the delicate matrix of choices and natural circumstances that are, within the limitations of my intellect, unpredictable.
Instead of giving meaning to the fact that something happened, it would be more productive in making the most of whatever has happened because it will never happen again. Moments lost are moments lost. Nothing can be done to relive those moments. So if confronted by moments that have seemingly been given to you by divine intervention, try not thinking about what has been written in your destiny. Think instead of what you wish to write on the empty slate of your future.
So the bottom line here is that any occurrence is a melange of choices (everybody's) and natural circumstances (quirks).
What I do not understand is why does tomorrow have to be predestined. Even if one sits down to calculate the probability of an event happening tomorrow, we are walking a tightrope when dealing with the highly complex and uncertain variables involved. The predictions will have to be made considering the likelihood of a natural (uncontrollable and unforeseeable) event happening at a particular time in the future accompanied with a certain choice made not only by you but also by everyone affecting you. The easiest variable to predict would be your choices though even this requires a tremendous amount of insight into human nature and is still not fool proof.
We've definitely come a long way in the science and art of prediction but lets not fool ourselves with the presence of divine interventions. Agreed, we cannot explain certain events of mammoth proportions like the creation of the universe and the genesis of life. But, that is an indicator not of god's infinite powers but our own limited intellect. Whatever makes us think that the human race is the smartest species in the universe! There are definitely realms of knowledge far too complex for our brains as things stand today. I'm not being a cynic but quite blatantly optimistic about human potential. We have come this far and I believe we will get much farther if only we live our lives by our virtues and not our weaknesses.
From coincidences to god... One could ask about what brought about the shift of my flow of thought. Humans try to glamorize their lives. Why? Because they think it isn't significant the way it is. Add some magical presence external to our beings capable of transforming our humble existence into something meaningful and you've caught the attention of the majority. What they don't realize is that we are already magnificent just the way we are. Born free with the virtue of potential for productive endeavor.
I am immediately taken back to what Ayn Rand stood for. "My philosophy", she said, "in essence, is the concept of man as a heroic being, with his own happiness as the moral purpose of his life, with productive achievement as his noblest ability, and reason his only absolute."
So things happen the way they do happen not because there are some unknown designs to your life that were drawn out by this divine entity that many call God but simply because of the intricate interaction of the delicate matrix of choices and natural circumstances that are, within the limitations of my intellect, unpredictable.
Instead of giving meaning to the fact that something happened, it would be more productive in making the most of whatever has happened because it will never happen again. Moments lost are moments lost. Nothing can be done to relive those moments. So if confronted by moments that have seemingly been given to you by divine intervention, try not thinking about what has been written in your destiny. Think instead of what you wish to write on the empty slate of your future.
Thursday 1 November 2007
Evolution of "voices"
These are thoughts that I put into words at a time where my ideologies and emotions were crystallizing almost a year ago. This is the time i was acquanted with myself. I wrote all this to myself just as I do now.
....................................
Perfection is the present and the past and the future. It is everything and nothing. Ying and Yang is the ideal definition of perfection. Is perfection balance?
Reaction Mechanism. My fears. I give parts of myself and suddenly realize that it is too much and withdraw completely fearing that I will be asked for more. Draw the line or give my 100%?
A true relationship would be one in which there is no line and one can give their 100% and not stop and not regret it.
Love is being there for someone? What if that someone will grow stronger and happier without you being there? If you care, won't you let this happen?
All humans want happiness. It's strange, the variety of things they do to achieve it! One needs to fully understand happiness.
Language is such an inefficient tool!
Knowledge of self. Such a rare quality. Brely anyone ever strives for it. Why? It is considered selfish and wrong, why?
Why do I like Bombay so much? It's like a prototype of ying and yang. ie. The light and the dark. Perfection is a startling contrast.
Emotions are natural. Anger, sadness, satisfaction, envy, bliss etc... Some emotions create inner disharmony and some create harmony. We categorize them as negative and positive. A confluence of emotions is an indication of a life well lived?
Why not only happiness? If one realizes the value of this happiness and does not take it for granted, maybe. For the rest, it isn't happiness at all.
So adversity breeds brilliance. Negative emotions and experiences open doors to fully experiencing happiness.
Why does reasoning, questioning and understanding curb the potential to experience?
If one gets carried away with questions, even experience creates question marks and not moments. A balance of knowledge and experience is essential then to create a mosaic called life.
I feel connections through the eyes I think! Eyes are the window to the heart. It is so shockingly true when we keep advocating not to judge a book by its cover. If my feeling is true then eyes are not a cover but a window to the cover, a window that is open to whoever wants to look through.
A connection! Beautiful... For me it's a feeling that I can trust someone with what I value so much... me.
Why does it sometimes seem like effort to maintain a connection? Positive and negative emotions and thoughts. Connections are formed because of positive in spite of negative... It is avoiding the negative that sometimes takes effort.
Love-Being there
Trust-Live and let live
Respect-Recognise individuality
Where does the physical aspect come in? A melange of positive emotions or attraction (physical). Sex could be the last level to a relationship. A culmination into the physical through the emotional and intellectual. This is what it means to me. It could also be simply a result of attraction in a purely physical sense.
The contours of the horizon overpowered by the deep black sky overpowered by the plethora of stars as though in mirth of their victory.
We sit around to witness the dancing flames crying out in a victory of its own.
Which is the bigger victory? The dancing flames or thetwinkling stars?
Where the trumpets sound simply in the joy of existence. I believe the biggest victory is theirs. The sky, the stars, the flames and us are all victors in the battle of existence!
Battle of existence? What are we fighting? Negative circumstances, emotions and thoughts...
Exclusivity in a relationship. Isn't there always exclusivity? Why control for monopoly? Why control for anything at all?
It takes courage to take responsibility for one's actions.
Every relationship is determined by its own set of variables.
Fondnesss amongst/from children could simply come from freedom (encouraging it).
I'm gettin closer to myself. I can feel it. The feeling of authenticity is creeping in quite dramatically into my persona.
What is missing someone? We live so many beautiful moments everyday. It could mean wanting to share these moments while they happen with this special someone.
Life has so much to offer!!
The day wanes, the senses flare
As though the darkness has power to share
A torrent of thoughts flood the mind and soul
The potent spirit, with ecstacy its goal.
When hammer and heat combine
yielding power divine
turning jagged metal
into a sword so fine.
Meeta. What drew me to her is her ability to feel. The aura of a person who wants to be and enjoy every moment of it. In the agony and in the joys, she throbs with life! I'm happy she exists...
There is so much going on behind me,
but I find solace in myself and the great black sea.
The horizon twinkles with dots of light.
The oceans and sky seem one at sight.
On an invisible stretch of this road called life,
each precious moment is a beacon that overshadows all our times of strife.
A day will come when these pillars of light become symbols of joy in our mosaic of memories.
Watching a lone white stork flying into the shadow of the night,
my ignited heart urges for flight.
The rythm of the waves sparks a rythm in my heart
A rythm of life, a song of hope, a journey that must start.
The hypocrisy and the hysterics drown me.
The rocks are my refuge.
Kadam badhathe ja
manzil ek kadam aage rakh kar
jeet ke pyale piye ja!
The fatigue of a day
deflated by this moment of flight,
the darkness washed out
by a beam of light.
My heart beats in a body of steel
fuelled by the vision of the road, i feel. (To michelle)
Your boat was moored by her side,
waiting idle for the tide.
The time is right, u've found the oars
and the oceans are open wide.
The moon peeps through the clouds,
it's light shining like a pearly shroud
proclaiming the death of day and the birth of night.
The shadows moving like solitary beings.
Even the shadows deny the company one needs.
A ripple so great,
a pebble so small.
For dreams so big,
No wall is tall.
If silence was a flowing river,
one could drift as if forever.
Silence of our heads and hearts
is tougher than our calm facades.
....................................
Perfection is the present and the past and the future. It is everything and nothing. Ying and Yang is the ideal definition of perfection. Is perfection balance?
Reaction Mechanism. My fears. I give parts of myself and suddenly realize that it is too much and withdraw completely fearing that I will be asked for more. Draw the line or give my 100%?
A true relationship would be one in which there is no line and one can give their 100% and not stop and not regret it.
Love is being there for someone? What if that someone will grow stronger and happier without you being there? If you care, won't you let this happen?
All humans want happiness. It's strange, the variety of things they do to achieve it! One needs to fully understand happiness.
Language is such an inefficient tool!
Knowledge of self. Such a rare quality. Brely anyone ever strives for it. Why? It is considered selfish and wrong, why?
Why do I like Bombay so much? It's like a prototype of ying and yang. ie. The light and the dark. Perfection is a startling contrast.
Emotions are natural. Anger, sadness, satisfaction, envy, bliss etc... Some emotions create inner disharmony and some create harmony. We categorize them as negative and positive. A confluence of emotions is an indication of a life well lived?
Why not only happiness? If one realizes the value of this happiness and does not take it for granted, maybe. For the rest, it isn't happiness at all.
So adversity breeds brilliance. Negative emotions and experiences open doors to fully experiencing happiness.
Why does reasoning, questioning and understanding curb the potential to experience?
If one gets carried away with questions, even experience creates question marks and not moments. A balance of knowledge and experience is essential then to create a mosaic called life.
I feel connections through the eyes I think! Eyes are the window to the heart. It is so shockingly true when we keep advocating not to judge a book by its cover. If my feeling is true then eyes are not a cover but a window to the cover, a window that is open to whoever wants to look through.
A connection! Beautiful... For me it's a feeling that I can trust someone with what I value so much... me.
Why does it sometimes seem like effort to maintain a connection? Positive and negative emotions and thoughts. Connections are formed because of positive in spite of negative... It is avoiding the negative that sometimes takes effort.
Love-Being there
Trust-Live and let live
Respect-Recognise individuality
Where does the physical aspect come in? A melange of positive emotions or attraction (physical). Sex could be the last level to a relationship. A culmination into the physical through the emotional and intellectual. This is what it means to me. It could also be simply a result of attraction in a purely physical sense.
The contours of the horizon overpowered by the deep black sky overpowered by the plethora of stars as though in mirth of their victory.
We sit around to witness the dancing flames crying out in a victory of its own.
Which is the bigger victory? The dancing flames or thetwinkling stars?
Where the trumpets sound simply in the joy of existence. I believe the biggest victory is theirs. The sky, the stars, the flames and us are all victors in the battle of existence!
Battle of existence? What are we fighting? Negative circumstances, emotions and thoughts...
Exclusivity in a relationship. Isn't there always exclusivity? Why control for monopoly? Why control for anything at all?
It takes courage to take responsibility for one's actions.
Every relationship is determined by its own set of variables.
Fondnesss amongst/from children could simply come from freedom (encouraging it).
I'm gettin closer to myself. I can feel it. The feeling of authenticity is creeping in quite dramatically into my persona.
What is missing someone? We live so many beautiful moments everyday. It could mean wanting to share these moments while they happen with this special someone.
Life has so much to offer!!
The day wanes, the senses flare
As though the darkness has power to share
A torrent of thoughts flood the mind and soul
The potent spirit, with ecstacy its goal.
When hammer and heat combine
yielding power divine
turning jagged metal
into a sword so fine.
Meeta. What drew me to her is her ability to feel. The aura of a person who wants to be and enjoy every moment of it. In the agony and in the joys, she throbs with life! I'm happy she exists...
There is so much going on behind me,
but I find solace in myself and the great black sea.
The horizon twinkles with dots of light.
The oceans and sky seem one at sight.
On an invisible stretch of this road called life,
each precious moment is a beacon that overshadows all our times of strife.
A day will come when these pillars of light become symbols of joy in our mosaic of memories.
Watching a lone white stork flying into the shadow of the night,
my ignited heart urges for flight.
The rythm of the waves sparks a rythm in my heart
A rythm of life, a song of hope, a journey that must start.
The hypocrisy and the hysterics drown me.
The rocks are my refuge.
Kadam badhathe ja
manzil ek kadam aage rakh kar
jeet ke pyale piye ja!
The fatigue of a day
deflated by this moment of flight,
the darkness washed out
by a beam of light.
My heart beats in a body of steel
fuelled by the vision of the road, i feel. (To michelle)
Your boat was moored by her side,
waiting idle for the tide.
The time is right, u've found the oars
and the oceans are open wide.
The moon peeps through the clouds,
it's light shining like a pearly shroud
proclaiming the death of day and the birth of night.
The shadows moving like solitary beings.
Even the shadows deny the company one needs.
A ripple so great,
a pebble so small.
For dreams so big,
No wall is tall.
If silence was a flowing river,
one could drift as if forever.
Silence of our heads and hearts
is tougher than our calm facades.
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