Into the unknown

A sense of safety is so subjective
My asylum could be your abaddon.

My past is a confluence, my future unknown
making present my only comfort zone.

Vision cleaves a niche for the future
a faint path vulnerable to potent circumstances.

I crave for growth & change,
for adventure, for challenges
to make my moments worth living.

Into the unknown I tread
with a sure gait and passion unfed

Experimentation with Expression

“I’m a bibliophile!”

“Oh! I’m just a book lover”

Hmph! Makes me wonder about communication. Expression is simply a method to communicate what one feels. So, the first step in expression is analyzing your audience. Then think about the purpose of the conversation. Then open your mouth appropriately. Then keep room for feedback and alterations. I know this makes it sound like something straight out of an ‘Effective Communication’ course book. But, it doesn’t stop there.

Spoken words communicate a great deal and the same is true for those unspoken. These unspoken words ooze from our eyes, gestures and expressions. Spoken words can be easily faked but it gets tougher when dealing with a paradox in words and body language.

Recently, I started using a different approach to communication. My new teaching job introduced me to etymology and the process dramatically improving my vocabulary in breadth and depth.

Start introducing those words into your daily vocabulary and you’ve reached a different plane. This, of course, is at the cost of getting your thoughts across clearly! The reason I started doing this was simply to add texture to my expression for myself. Though words don’t substitute emotions and experiences, it is my constant endeavor to bridge that gap as well as I can. Communication does not, in that case, necessarily involve two or more people. I could be communicating with myself.

Writing, for instance, could be done for others or for oneself. Most of my writing is for me. That is precisely the reason I can experiment so freely. Otherwise, I would have had to consider the reader and his or her capacity to comprehend my expression.

Freezing the moment

"What is photography?" asked the amiable man in front of me. And through my head flashed moments... moments of extraordinary beauty, joy, grief, anger, horror, insight and hundred such emotions. Most poured out of my grasp before they could be captured just like the sands of Thar.

Photography was a tool with which I wanted to freeze these moments and record them in my book of memories. "A picture speaks a thousand words" they say. A picture exuberates emotions through its subject and texture. That makes photography the art and science of freezing moments.

I consider life momentous and not momentary. I'd like to live it as one long orgasm rather than an evanescent flash. This is the reason I am attracted to photography. It gives me the capacity to capture the millions of moments that would otherwise be lost, never to return.

Solo riding... Destination Thar

I was a proud owner of a new bike. A Royal Enfield Bullet Electra 350cc steed that I decided to christen as Michelle. Apart from the daily commuting, I hadn’t put Michelle up to a real challenge for around 2 months. “How about a cross-country?” I asked myself…”Why not!” the immediate answer came. I rushed to the nearest bookstore, bought myself a map of India (something long forgotten since school days) and began route planning over some lassi.

Kanyakumari to Kashmir? Sounds good... Works as great branding too. But, let’s look at it practically. I had two weeks to devote to traveling after which I needed to find a way to make money again. Kanyakumari to Kashmir was definitely possible in two weeks if I rode constantly for a 4000 odd kms. Oh! And then I had to get my bike back to Mumbai. My idea of traveling was not simply letting the world around me breeze past. I wanted more halts and more interaction with people and places.

A bunch of my friends were heading for a rickshaw run at around that time from Cochin to Darjeeling. I then considered taking Michelle side by side with their rickshaw. Wouldn’t work again! The average speed of the rickshaw was way below that of Michelle and these guys had a very stringent deadline to meet.

Frustrated with the ‘buts’, I decided to think within my limitations of time and money. I had 15,000 rupees to spend on this trip and 2 weeks. Michelle would give me an average of 30kmpl. I then decided to explore any neighboring state that was worth a ride. Thumbing around Maharashtra within 5 seconds I knew where I was heading… Rajasthan.

It was a land I had found fascinating since childhood but never had a chance to visit. So, the decision was made. Now moving on to the route planning and the budgeting. Some critical points to remember while charting out your route are:

1. Get hold of a lonely planet or anything similar to get a feel of the places you might want to visit.
2. Chart out the distances. This is pivotal for calculating fuel expenditure (A huge chunk of the budget).
3. National and state highway access. Will help in estimating average speed and time. Any other roads could mean a serious hindrance and eat into your itinery.
4. Route back home. Don’t forget to build that into your last stop!
5. There is an 80% probability that your route will change when you reach there. Don’t over plan and keep your mind free for building in suggestions from locals and alterations made necessary through your own experiences.

After running through the entire plan and budget, it looked like the whole trip was in place. The calculations worked out to around 7000 rupees for fuel and another 7000 for stay and food. It fit in quite snuggly into my budget. In case of any emergency I would always have enough to get back home.

I told some people about this plan for more inputs. Most felt it was great until someone came up with the point of me going alone. I told her about my ‘self-sufficient’ nature but was faced with a retort that gave me plenty of food for thought. “What if you have a bike failure in the middle of nowhere?” I hadn’t tested Michelle on such a long continuous drive. My friend had a point.

I started looking around for a pillion rider. I didn’t have to look around for long. I had a neighbor who was as enthusiastic about the whole plan as I was and we got along well. So that was that.

We took off at 5am on a cool Monday morning in January with nothing but the excitement of the moment (and a little extra baggage). Our route to Rajasthan was right through Gujarat using the NH8. A long butt crunching journey led us to Ahmedabad by daybreak.

The itinery after Ahmedabad was quite relaxed with one or two day stops at some places. Our first stop was Mt’ Abu, the only hill station in Rajasthan. I must mention that we were freezing right through the ride, Michelle's thumping in harmony with our clattering teeth as we took the winding road up to Mt’ Abu.

After that came Ajmer, Pushkar, Jodhpur and Jaisalmer. Each city had so much to offer and learn from. The people, monuments, culture and food have an almost soothing effect on a hard-bred Mumbaite. However, I would still ask travelers not to let their guard down completely. The places which I rode into were all quite touristy (Lonely Planet being to blame for that). I’ll definitely build in an element of unpredictability for my next trip involving more anonymous locations.

Michelle wasn’t always thumping away to glory either. She gave me a fair amount of problems starting with battery failure at Mt’ Abu, overheating at Ajmer and a flat tyre in the middle of the Thar. All these were sorted out with the help of a benevolent local in every location (even the flat tyre!). We seemed to have had guardian angels posted at each location.

Out of all the places I had been to, Jaisalmer and Mt’ Abu left the biggest impact in terms of people, culture and architecture. Of course, Jodhpur had the magnificent Meherangarh fort. But, the rest of Jodhpur was like an ordinary city. Pushkar had a much more impressive mélange of people and places. Ajmer reminded me of Mohammed Ali Street!

Ahh! Then there was the golden sand of Thar experienced on Hrithik Roshan’s back. Hrithik was my camel’s name incase you raised an eyebrow. The camel rider boasting about how fast Hrithik was in the annual camel race second only to Michael Jackson!

This was a complete potpourri of experiences. Our trip consisted of lovely cities punctuated by vast expanses of land with a black streak running through it like a crack. Sleeping in dusty beds in cheap hotels punctuated by lazing on a cot in the sun at some nondescript highway dhaba.
We touched down in Colaba at 4pm after 14 days and 3030 kms of riding with outlandish sunburns, dirty clothes, plenty of learning, another battery failure, empty pockets and broad smiles!

Moolah talk

Well, some long overdue talk about this amazing thing that makes and breaks plenty of lives. Moving great economies and newly married couples alike. The reason this pops up is obviously because it's starting to irritate me a little bit now. One starts realizing the value of money once we have something to gain or lose from it.

That brings it down to priorities then. We speculate on the monetary value of our priorities and start slogging it out accordingly. We spend a large proportion of our lives playing roles... like a actor in a play. "Hey Mr. Playwright! how about cutting me some slack!", our minds seem to keep shouting on this arduous journey toward a goal we choose.

I feel the danger lies in the power of the script to alter our being. It has the capability to leave us numb...numb enough to forget our goal or forget it's importance or even what it felt like to have the fire of purpose.

Many choose this warpath. Many lose. Why pit ourselves against ourselves? I would understand fighting the world. But, why fight our being?

I think about this illusive medium of exchange often. "How much does it matter?", I keep asking myself. "Not much!", comes the answer... The best things in life come free.

Befriending pain

This body that can leap and bound
it's beauty both divine and profound

Until a spasm tears through the flesh
of a body that has known no rest.

Pure pain beating at the rhythm of the heart
You wonder when relief would start.

Instead, I say embrace that pain
like a burden that will reap some gain.

There is a calm that follows the storm
enriched with experience.. & pleasure breaking every norm.

Sex sells

For a 'base' emotion, it's surprising to note the emphasis on sex in our lives. Equally surprising is the bias towards satisfying the male audience. Right from the nubile women featuring in after-shave ads to the many allusions to male dominance in our film industry.

Moving back to my original statement about the stress on sex, I mean to point out that it is quite a critical driver amongst the masses. The media uses this tool quite efficiently. From exposing sex scandals to propagation of safe sex, we have a range of sexual issues being tackled by the media. It would remind one of the sexual revolution that swept through America through the '60s prior to which sex was as much a taboo as it was in India a short while ago. The media played a pivotal role in the mass proclivity for a more libertarian way of life. The American masses were swept by movies, art and music that titillated those 'base' emotions. We know the present scenario in the US where issues relating sex are concerned.

The '60s in the US remind me of the phase we are going through now. After a period of conservatism and 'mouth-shut' policies regarding anything effecting mass libido, the new generation in India seems more aware and ready to experiment. This time, in addition to the traditional media, we have the Internet. Blogging is obviously not the only thing people come online to do. Look at the membership rates in any online community concerning sex. What's again amazing is the male turnout! Every male member is keen on 'getting laid' and tries whatever he can to transform those pretty pixels to a real life encounter.

Is it just an age that people go through? Maybe.. considering the phenomenal number of youth in India, that doesn't soften the situation at all. This seems to be a phase that won't fizz out in the near future. The future could be similar to what America has at present or another potpourri considering our cultural diversity.

However, in all the sex-drive, people seem to stop worrying about relationships anymore. By relationships, I mean sharing more than a night in bed. Humans then become instruments with a primary function of sexual gratification. This is happening quite blatantly across the media especially for the benefit of the male again. Think of music albums or bollywood movies, the camera always seems to have a strong voyeuristic tendency pausing suggestively at breasts that seem eager to break free from the shreds of cloth that hide them, then at gyrating hips and lucious lips... It doesn't take much analysis to catch the flow here.

I'm by no means denunciating the state-of-affairs here. All i'm saying is that behind that beautiful body, there exists a mind that is mostly ignored.