'A'muse

Drape the sky

Reaching out

These blinds

A slanted ray of golden sun

another cloudy day seems done.

Through these blinds I do not see

what lies beyond that's wild and free

I await a glimpse of sunlight bright

reflecting in your eyes, that sight

Dreams unlived and moments shared

through day and night, we've grown and lived

A life to the fullest, a dream so real

I feel the sun these blinds conceal.

To walk into your warmth once more

to smell the life and see it grow.

My soul knows not another goal.

To open the blinds and let in the light

and share it with you into the night.

Flames and Ashes

Stop.

Breathe

The sky is ablaze...

A blanket of dull grey... ripped through the centre...

and through it gleams a bright blue...

the water falls gently... gracefully... like little ballerinas

another smile... another sigh...

not of melancholy... but of that constant craving... for what's over that rainbow...

beyond that horizon... beckoning... sensually... mysteriously...

and then that brilliant orange... turns to grey... all day fades to night... and I close my eyes...

to greet the light again.

The sunburnt smile

There was once a man who was stuck temporarily in the fallouts of his own choices. He didn't complain and went on living life with the same ebullience as before. He made wonderful discoveries even in the underbelly of his seemingly bleak circumstances. He was living life to the fullest and now it felt even fuller.

As the dull beat of time clicked by, he pushed himself into a plethora of diverse situations. This plunge acquainted him with the meaning of manual labour, higgs bosons, politics, business, bliss and impatience. He refused to run towards the end of the tunnel. He decided to walk towards those lights slow and steady... too proud to break into a run and too impatient to continue walking. He worked his tired body into a work machine... his sleepless brain into a sponge that soaked everything of value around him.

And as the sweat dripped down his brow and his veins swelled like roots across his arms... he looks into the horizon and smiles.... smiles at the sun that smiles back... at the moon beyond and at his tryst with infinity.

Dew drops

Feel

The centre of my being...

भारत और हम

Here I am sitting in Geneva, writing about India and us. Ironic? Not the way I see it. I ask myself why I love my country because I'm not nationalist nor a patriot. In fact, the very concept of nationality is alien to me. That's what leads me to saying I simply love everything the world has to offer. I love India no more than I love many other countries in the world. I view humans as humans... individuals in control of their own circumstances. Nationalities are political boundaries drawn as territorial demarcations... mere instruments of governance emerging from the concentration of resources, cultural affinities etc. This makes us all humans... not Indians, Pakistanis, Germans, Mexicans, Russians, Albanians, Iranians, Israelis, Kenyans or Ethiopians. Going by this fairly lucid logic, we discover that people around the world are essentially the consequence of the same elements... Choices and circumstances. Hence, their personalities are a melange of situations resulting from the same fundamental drivers like pursuit of happiness, fear, courage and so on. Embarking on a detailed discussion of the redundancy of nationality and the innate irrationality of the concept of patriotism and nationalism is unnecessary since those who haven't already understood the essence of my point will not understand anything beyond it either.

So what do I imply by हम (us)? I speak about every single Indian from every single part of the nation and every single global citizen from every single corner of the world. However, owing to the political identity of being a sovereign nation, an identity to which the world's second largest population has agreed to, the responsibility for action is not the rest of the world's. Most of us already realize this ofcourse. However, for those who still think it is justified for a nation to live on the philanthropy of other nations... think again. Do these nations really deserve to exist? Shouldn't they be merged with another so as to justify their claim of sovereignty which is a claim emerging from the assumption that the nation has what it takes to keep its citizens happy and free.

What do I mean when I say free? That's a critical question. Amartya Sen made a critical observation when he drew a clear distinction between "freedom from" and "freedom to". Though portrayed as conflicting ideologies, I don't see where the conflict arises from. Freedom is essentially being free in every sense of the word, including being free to be free from! Actions resulting from exercise of this freedom are subject to, like all other actions, are subject to consequences. Understanding and embracing these consequences along with the actions and the root drivers leading to the action and every element of circumstance that provided the groundwork for this reality is total freedom.

Now consider those who claim, "I'm free to be free from starvation." If they say this as a statement of fact, it is completely valid, however if they state this as a demand from the rest of society, of which they are a part as well, they are infiltrating on another person's freedom. If the latter man were me, I would feel absolutely nothing for this person has chosen not to strive to beat his or her circumstances but chooses, instead, to place a demand on another's freedom. I'm free to refuse.

To put the concept of freedom further into perspective, I wrestled with the rationality of communism and came to one simple conclusion. It makes perfect sense subject to it being confined to those who want to be confined within it. I wouldn't call the ideology evil. It is built for a society of parasites and slaves giving them the upper hand over the "bourgeois" value creators.

I have yet to see a successful/pure communist nation or even a pure democratic nation. I choose to speak about India at the moment for no reason other than my intimate familiarity with its people, land, languages and culture. Patriotism as a sentiment is alien to me. That said, I'd like to enumerate certain fundamental flaws in our political, social, civil and religious/cultural fabric that will require to be amended if we are to be the land of the free. These, by no means, forms an exhaustive rendition. It is only some of the issues that are critical. I do not care about the burgeoning populations as much as I care about my own freedom in any society. It would be a fallacy to assume that all humans want to be free, so I do not indulge in that misconception. Instead, I am only interested that nobody steps on my toes...

Geo-political hypocrisy - Kashmir! Give them a referendum or quit calling India a democracy. For a detailed discussion on this, refer to my article on the "Kashmir Conundrum"

Socio-cultural fabric - It doesn't matter where you are from, the fundamentals of a human are the same. Caste-based discrimination within the country has taken a whole new dimension. Now it isn't the lower caste only that is suffering. All the ordinary citizens of the nation who don't come under the SC/ST/OBC category has to fight like dogs for everything from quality education to Government jobs while those who have the privilege of belonging to oppressed class grow by leaps and bounds with relative ease. This is an argument against affirmative action as a whole. Many would argue compassion. Forget compassion! Think about reason. What do these oppressed people need? Customized education and the tools to build competencies to compete in the modern world if they so wish to. In that case, it is rural development (Education and Entrpreneural development) that should be taking the upper pedestal in government policy. If any of you have traveled into a reasonable number of the villages of India you will witness the rubbish being taught at these schools and the inappropriate and ineffective development practices rampant across most of the sub-continent. Part of the reason of this problem is that these uneducated people don't realize the importance of a rational long-term approach. They can be easily made happy with affirmative action which fills the politician's vote banks and gives them greater control over larger parts of the country

Economic policy - "Protectionism," a term that most would associate with post-independence India where the Indian Industry suffered greatly under the shadow of the STC and Nehru's socialist approach to development. He was, not surprisingly, a great admirer of Stalin. Signs of this remained as a stick in the wheel if economic progress until P.V. Narasimha Rao and Manmohan Singh began opening up our economy in 1991. One of the sole bastions of regressive protectionism is the Retail Sector. Again, the fear for loss of voter support leads politicians to place huge barriers for entry of larger, more efficient retailers into India. Most cry out about claims for compassion in the face of dying local retail businesses. Do they deserve to die because they are not as efficient? Should they starve in the name of progress? I'll say only one thing to them. They deserve to live using their own creative and intellectual capabilities not by inhibiting those they consider superior in intelligence. That's a long story cut short ofcourse. The rabbit hole goes deeper than this and my conclusion at the end of it is right here.

Religion - My response to religious movements in India is mixed. I, by no means admire or respect religion in any form. However, I don't have any problems as long as the religious folk keep their religion to themselves. This has been the case in India for quite a while now. Unfortunately, the practice of religion has become quite a nuisance. What will you think of when I say fundamentalism? Terrorism? Al-Qaeda? I think of Evangelists, born-again Christians and the related lot. I see the growth of these little groups mainly as a response to contemporary Hindu and Muslim fundamentalism. The Christians must have been thinking... "Hey, it's been a while since the crusades, and now other religions seem to be getting ahead of us... Time to bring in the mind control and life control into Christianity!" The dangerous bit is that anything can be now justified using one of the hundreds of interpretations of the Bible or Quran or whatever ancient piece of vague, myopic, narrow-minded, regressive rubbish that most live by. Stay out of my way and I'll let you be. Cross my path and I declare war. It's simple. In India, this is a slowly growing phenomenon. Though the emphasis on blood-lines is still deeply entrenched, conversions are yet to take front seat in religious agenda. However, I do see this changing and it isn't for a brighter and more amiable future.

Summer breeze

Warm and tender, soft and bright. Children frolic and ducks glide by. Insects scuttle around on rocks with purposeful fervor as though my arrival on their little island were a cause of excitement. For these little beings, the mass of water around them must seem like a seamless expanse of mysterious fluid and I look at this lake that seems confined to an ever decreasing phenomena we all call nature and as I look at it I wonder about the limitless possibilities that lay beyond the horizon... and within myself.

The wilderness beckons and I think of a time when man and nature co-existed. I think of a choking cry from small clusters sanity on our planet speaking with hopeful... almost desperate voices about sustainable development. I think of humanity and then I think of myself. I must choose a path... I must face an innate conundrum... Should I join this battle for the future of mankind or live my life to the fullest. While my deep respect for the best in all of us will never wear out... that respect is rooted in self realization. I found myself and feel that it is every individuals own choice to find him/herself. The choice is made instantaneously.

I look around me breathing in the summer breeze redolent with the scent of warm, naked rock. The bright blue sky glows vividly overhead splattered generously with blazing white clouds. This image is carved on the horizon with the Mt. Blanc rising tall and proud as though is burst forth unto the skies from the depths of the earth and frozen in it's journey towards the heavens. It stands there in the distance flanked by the silhouette of a soporific mound of rock and as my vision is drawn closer to my perch, I see green... Not the lush green of the wild that I have grown to love. This is a subdued green manicured by human will. It is indeed unfortunate that so many humans choose to live within the confines of facades designed to shield them from the truth. A truth that wrenches their hearts with fear... a truth that they'd rather not accept; that we humans are born wild and free.

Existence of God

I strongly feel it is important here to dichotomize the words God and Religion in the world today and the concept of God using the mainstream philosophical argument.

The word itself means different things for different people. The common argument constructed by theists to convince their atheist counterpart revolves around some essentials:

• Initial motion

All things in the universe are in motion. However, for there to exist motion in actuality (Kinetic energy) there must exist Potential energy and this potential energy can only be converted to kinetic energy by a stimulus. So everything which is in motion must have an initial stimulus. This stimulus is god.

This is a completely valid argument. My dispute with this argument is that how does one explain the seeming chronological, spatial and conceptual infinity of god? The concept is created to put a stopper to a concept that escapes the intellectual block that we humans face when dealing with the question of infinity. "God is infinite," theists would then claim. Well, if God is infinite and so is the universe, I don't see any reason to believe that one form of infinity is different from the other... both are conceptually the same. So, God is the Universe and the Universe is God. Both interchangeable words... I prefer the former to avoid the ridiculous connotations of the word "God" propagated across society through religion.

• Original causation

Everything we see around us is connected in a chain of causation similar to that of motion. So what is the original cause?... God.

This argument is parallel to the infinity concept. What is the original cause? I don't know. Many call it God. I call it incomprehensible infinity or the Universe.

• The superlative

We have formed in our minds the conceptual framework for qualitative assessment for everything in existence. The man is strong. That woman is honest. The mountains are beautiful. Every qualitative assessment is in comparison to a superlative... an entity that possesses the best of all virtues. Such an entity must be god.

I'd like to deconstruct this idea. The ultimate of all virtues, this argument claims is this singular entity of God. I would simply ask... who sets the standards here?... the standards of virtue. Isn't it humans? Our perceptions of beauty and virtues are different depending on the personalities, value systems and circumstances each of us is subject to. This disintegrates the concept the singularity of God. If each of us were to name our perceptions of the superlative as God, we'd have many more Gods.

• Original existence

We are surrounded my thronging existence. Before existence is non-existence or nothing and for something to be born of nothing is absurd. Therefore, for something to exist in the beginning from nothing, there needs to be an antediluvian (etymological religious connotation unintended, I hope!) something that instigates the creation of everything else.

The Buddhists believe in part of this concept as well. Madhyamaka practitioners stress on the importance of the fact that before existence came non-existence; before something came nothing. However, they add that nothing has the potential to create everything else. The don't detach the divine from existence and non-existence. They believe is is possible for humans to reach that state of nothingness through meditation. That is their concept of nirvana. I prefer the Buddhist way of thought where this is concerned and would like to add that if one were to claim that god was hanging around in nothing to create something and that God is something, then the nothing did not exist in the first place.

On the other hand, when one says that nothing and everything is divine, that implies that every one of us is divine. Using theist terminology, that makes every one of us God. I'd rather call you by your name :-)

• Universal governance

Nature is crafted to perfection. Every leaf, every mountain, every animal is crafted in a way so as to co-exist in functional synchrony and perfection. The functionality is a product of circumstances or environment. All this takes intelligence to design. That intelligence is god.

I feel this is the strongest argument made so far. Intelligent design has been long debated. If God is mystery and infinity and if we as humans are incapable of understanding the true nature of God the only method of knowing whether this God exists is to go by his/her intentions. These seem pretty clear. Building the universe, of which Planet Earth, our home, seems to be of barely importance but means the world to us and us alone. This god went into the detail of creating these handcrafted odds and ends like plants, animals, humans, and so on... and then we have theists who believe that this god had an intention... how? and what is that intention? The planet we're on has an expiry date on it and so does every one of us and the intention of God is an inappropriate phrase given to what it really is... the purpose of life itself. I call it life force... a power potent and intelligent enough to direct the evolution of every being in existence... and as for the non-living things, I call it physics.

True, this raises more questions than answers and that's the point. There are unanswered questions and we could start with seeing things for what they truly are instead of settling in for misunderstood, inadequate and inappropriate nomenclature and conceptual fantasies.

Religion adds more frills to this concept of God further contorting it into a melange of mysticism, customs, rituals, intolerance and shrouded ignorance all sparked by elements of shame, low self-esteem and a lack of courage to face the truth or embark on this seemingly infinite voyage of finding the truth where it isn't apparent.

Before the burst

Psychosis. A phenomena so common that it would make one lose perspective of the concept of sanity looking at the world around. People are plagued with maladies: some innate, some behavioral and others having physical manifestations. The root of a symptom could be something seemingly unconnected. I'm surprised at the number of people I meet who have problems and by problems I imply real problems that deter their functioning as individuals and curb the spontaneity and honesty of their actions as a result of some discomfort associated with their natural tendencies.
These discomforts could be a result of mental conditioning or the Freudian idea of the subconscious. I like the nomenclature of this word sub=under the conscious. It makes it sound like the undercurrent of all our active thoughts, emotions, and actions.

It opens an almost infinite realm of possibilities of human behavior! If one notices closely, the behavior of most individuals, they demonstrate psychosis in some form or another; however obtuse it may be. Minor forms of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Eating disorder, Sexual Disorders, Depression, anxiety which are all products of the occasional (or not so occasional) tendency for humans to slip into their weaknesses.

Particularly dangerous, in my opinion, are suppressed emotions. They build up inside like a volcano and if they don't find natural outlets through natural emotions at the natural time... they may burst out through other exits... causing the seemingly disconnected symptoms that I spoke of. Dangerous because untimely release of emotion through an unexpected mode only shows the dearth in human control over his or her own psychological framework.

The ideal solution is the truth and nothing but the truth.

Directions

We're all walking in different direction. How do we know where we are heading?

To start with, our lives are interwoven in a beautifully intricate fabric. Sometimes people cross paths, sometimes they walk together. So my choices are not only a product of my personality but also of your actions. My thought could be instigated by an inner drive or an external stimulus... and the resultant choice would then lead to an action which manifests itself in a direction.

So, to know your direction, you must not only know yourself but also know everyone else around you. It gets more complicated when you realize that you've got to know all this in terms of the future.

Am I concluding then that it is not possible to know one's direction? No, I think it is.

If one does away with the mirage of time, which I feel is a deeply ingrained concept built to govern the rhythm of our lives, we will realize that the only direction that exists is in the present. The future does not even exist so the possibility of a direction existing in the non-existent concept of an imaginary context is flawed.

The only direction that exists is in this moment...Now. Needless to say that you know fully well where you are heading.

It is only in this flicker of the present that you will find anything of value. The past is a shadow, and the future... a dream.

The climb

1am... My body clock buzzes. It's time to head towards the acme of my trip... Iztachuatl ("Sleeping Woman" in Nuatl - The language of the Aztecs). The imagery had me fascinated! The climb would begin at her feet, up her knees, down her stomach (a glacier of modest proportions), up her breasts (the highest point on this particular woman).

Before the climb begun, I still looked at Popo with a strong element of yearning. We were right there... in its lap and chose to climb the safer volcano. That was simply not my way of doing things.

Hilarion and I quietly ready ourself in the pitch dark... our hands steady... our faces taut. 12 hours to the summit(s) didn't require much... Crampons, Hiking Poles, a headlamp, 2 liters of water, a banana, a couple of chocolate bars and a fair amount of determination.

"Como Estas?", Hilarion asks, breaking the silence...

"Perfecto!"

We sit for a couple of minutes slightly hunched looking into the topography of the route we were about to take. Hilarion did not know my proclivity for high altitudes and nor did I. He was to make the decisions after 5,000 meters (assuming that I'll be too tired to think straight).

The first step I took upward... the mild disappointment of not being able to climb Popo was washed away by the vision of the starry skies above and the small patch of the path illuminated before us by our headlamps while our boots crunched the ice and rock strewn across the jagged slopes.

My head swarmed with a myriad thoughts that seemed to complement the sky bursting forth with little dots of light.

"Why do you like the mountains?" I directed one such thought at Hilarion.

"Well Miguel"... he answers, "because the mountains are honest and the true nature of people is exposed here."

I smiled.

At 4,800 meters, I could not feel my hands any more and the pressure on my lungs had become apparent because i was actually panting! I kept monitoring my bodily dynamics at these altitudes with great fascination. I knew about the lactic acid deposits that agonize the muscles at such low levels of oxygen but didn't feel it at all throughout my experience. I have my passion for running to thank for that.

I drift back into my world of thoughts... thoughts about what mattered most in my life. Thoughts about the moments I was creating and the moments that had gone by. The world around seemed to highlight my life and stress my existence more than any other place I have ever been. I knew, that very moment, the future I was heading towards. The only question was "when" and not "whether or not".

The wind beats against us with a vengeance as we climb incessantly towards the black sky as though punishing us for the impudence of our actions and dreams. The mountain path quickly disappearsleaving us with rocks shaped like broken glass protruding from the snow (ubiquitous at this altitude).

All I could hear then was the protesting gasps of my lungs, the threatening wind and the songs of my soul.

Time passed quickly as we climbed up the knees and soon the sky began turning reddish orange towards the east and as we reach the first summit (5000 meters) the sun begins its majestic ascent. Its rays cut through the freezing winds smothering our skin with a pleasant warmth. The fatigue creeping into my body was quickly forgotten with the vision that unfolded as the sun threw its light over the spectacular vision of snow clad mountains that seemed to rise from a thick blanket of clouds. Hilarion and I embrace each other on the first summit partly in celebration of our first victory and partly because we happy and understood each others happiness. It is one of those moments when one can share completely an emotion as intimate as bliss with a stranger simply because of a complete mutual understanding of that bliss.

As we bask for a while in the warmth of the sun, I look at the final summit which seemed a world away...

"Feeling alright?"

"I can still fight a bull.." I said to myself with a faint dizziness and an undaunted smile.

Hilarion seemed to understand. He smiled back and we climb onward.

My crampons lied unused in my backpack. The glaciers were not as deep as they used to be... thanks to global warming. Nevertheless, the glistening white ice spotted with volcanic rock jutting out like shark fins.

Hilarion had been here plenty of times and yet i sensed a subtle pleasure in him as he did it yet again.

I'm often asked why mountaineers do what they do. Doesn't it cause pain? Isn't it closer to self-afflicted torture? Why should a human put oneself through all that as a choice?

I ask myself these questions sometimes... I get the answer every step of my journey upwards. It isn't the summit that drives me. My destination is my journey. It feels like my whole life condensed into every single moment. A moment brimming with a melange of pain and pleasure... a moment where I stand naked and proud in the face of everything life throws at me.

Am I glorifying my existence? Definitely not! I'm simply making a statement of fact. I am the center of my universe. That makes me an egotist not an egoist. But, even that doesn't matter. Labels are like a haystack in a blizzard... ephemeral.

Surrounded by the stupendous power and sheer magnificence of nature, some feel humbled, others intimidated, others afraid and some completely placid. I feel me. The implication of that sensation is of an equal and innate power complementing the power surrounding me.

Purity, truth, strength, pride... this is what the mountains evoke in me. The pain is only a small fragment of this journey.

This is as simple an answer as I can give.

Crunching our way through the glacier, we finally approach the final climb... These are the moments when I put to test everything I believe in. I fervently claim the power of mind over body. I felt gushes inside that said "Stop!" My brain analyzed and presented me with all the possible consequences of moving on and none were very pleasant. Yet, somewhere inside, a faint whisper simply said "not yet." Why I listened to the whisper, i do not know... But, that whisper felt more intimate to me than everything else.

"I can still reach that summit and beyond." I said this to myself as a statement of fact not for motivation or inspiration but simply as the only possible truth.

The feeling is beautifully strange... Every step at that altitude sapped every ounce of energy from every part of my body unleashing more energy from unknown reservoirs.

We reached the summit... 5250 meters. A long embrace and a smile was all I offered and nothing else was necessary.

As usual, it was not a sense of achievement that I felt. Every summit that I have climbed simply feels like stepping into a space that I can call home. I was home every step of the way and the summit was like the manifestation of that spirit. It was simply like stopping and saying it out loud... "I'm home."

Around me was infinity with only one invitation in the midst of the endless horizons... Popocatepetl. It stood there level with the summit that I stood upon, smoking away, and beckoning me to make another journey.

After a while I hear Hilarion... "The weather is going to close in".

I wasn't bothered until he said... "We should start moving down"

It never strikes me that moving downward is part of the journey... It's the most painful part of the climb.

Though most climber consider this the more pleasant bit of climbing, I feel it can be much harder than the climb itself especially with a pair of hard (slightly smaller than required) CAT working books on. Ouch! The weight shifted from the heel to the toes and the resultant blisters were enough to make every downward step feel like a shard of coarse metal grinding excruciatingly against my bruised skin... and the trip down had only just begun.

However, the descent had it's ecstatic parts (I won't say moments since climbing down seemed to take forever). The most fun (and incidentally, the most painful part) was this stretch of steep, muddy surface where we had to step, slip and ski all at the same time while (skillfully!) avoiding the numerous rocks sticking out from the soft red mud as though mocking our impudence with their own. After making a glorious mess of things initially... stumbling, tumbling, making every mistake possible, i finally mastered the art of mud skiing (for that is what I will call it henceforth).

After what seemed like ages, we reached base camp and as is my nature, I turn back to see the summit and smile thinking of the journey and amazed at myself (yet again).

On our way back, Popo looms on the horizon one last time and I look at it knowing fully well that I will face it again. So, I didn't say goodbye.

Towards the skies

So, here I am... in the lap of the Popo-Iztac Volcanoes. I am jubilant and excited about the prospect of reaching the summit at 5,250 meters in the morning tomorrow.

Reaching here was a fascinating journey. In Cholula, I went around asking the locals how to get to Popo. Nobody had a clue. Just as I was checking out of my hotel determined to walk the 40kms to base camp using only my compass not knowing if I would ever make it there, in a stroke of pure serendipity, my glance was riveted by the image of a man rappelling from the wall of a cave. It was a shabby pamphlet stuffed into a box on the reception of this cheap hostel. It was the brochure of some high altitude mountain guides. A call to these guys changed the course of my travel completely. For a paltry sum of money, they agreed to help me get to base camp and lead the trail to the summit. Delightful!

This way I actually had a chance of getting to the summit which considering my constantly protesting body seemed a distant dream (nevertheless, a dream that I was determined to pursue) especially if I spent most of my energy walking to base camp.

The next 2 days have been filled with some wonderful moments characterized by my rendezvous with people and nature. It was the first time since a long time since I actually got along with people with such ease and I the mountains provided me with the answer. One of the thoughts that struck me on my way up here which I shared with my mountain guide was that it takes a great amount of honesty of spirit to have a love for being in the mountains. This honesty or purity of spirit stems from the fact that in the wilderness you are confronted with an innate magnified reflection of nothing but yourself.

Popo is on a “Level II” alert as I write this. This is the second highest level of volcanic activity. Level III meant evacuation of all neighboring towns, I was told. Climbing was suspended and despite my attempts at convincing my guide, he politely refused to take me up there telling me the story of a man who almost died trying to get up there only a month ago. What he did not realize was that that did not work as a deterrent in my case. Nevertheless, Popo flanks another volcano called Iztachuatl which is 50 meters lower in altitude.

Naked, dangerous, virgin beauty awaits me and I will respond to its call. I feel like the space around me is sculpted with me being the center of this universe. I feel like it is mine… The snow, the rock, the ash, the wisps of grass, the flowers, the scuttling mice and geckos, the rolling slopes, the jagged cliffs, the hanging clouds, the chilled and fragrant air that fills my lungs, the music of the birds punctuated by a blissful silence...

Only one phrase rings within me at this moment, like the notes of a symphony of the song of my life… La pura vida… La dolce vida…

Cholula

2 days to Popo

I sit here on the zocalo of Cholula, away from Puebla, closer to Popo with my usual lack of directions other than that of the magnificent sight that greets me on the horizon. The locals here don´t seen as fascinated as I am by the volcano that looms over their tiny town. People in Puebla told me I was crazy to choose Popo over La Malinche (A much safer, more tourist friendly, dormant volcano to the north-east of Puebla compared to the constantly threatening demeanor of Popocatepetl).

The tour operator was too expensive... and i don´t want a tour... Maybe I´ll find a local guide who knows the mountains... I must get to the other side to the town of Amecameca. That´s my only ticket back to Geneva since I´m absolutely not in the mood to turn back to the more familiar town of Puebla.

If only time had no limits, I would not have to worry about getting to Mexico City by a certain time and day. It is, however, critical that I get back... I have plenty of unfinished business and something to look forward to.

So, I will now forget about my semi-recovered body and all my worldly qualms and learn how far a man can go with a strong thumping heart.

Until then... Buenas Noches...

1 day to Popo

Dusty old shoes, dirty jeans, an idle knife dangling by the waist, a crumpled shirt thrown off taut shoulders, lying amongst the rocks, ruffled hair, an unkempt beard and eyes fixed upon the sillhouete of a volcano on the horizon.

It is 7 in the morning and I stand on a little hill towering over the quaint and humble little town called Cholula with the towers of some 50 churches within my range of sight. Maybe, I try convincing myself, it´s the fear of this giant furnace on the horizon that drives them to the seek refuge in religion... Alas, I know better.

This thought quickly drifts away with the sight of my only companions flying north... whle some happily hop around me searching for bits of food... The sparrows remind me of freedom... of ebullience... of life...

My hands are cold and my heart is afire with visions of what is to come. As of this moment, I am confronted by a strange conundrum... The vision of Popo is in front of me while the Sun glows at my back and I laugh aloud with the ecstacy of the choice... by the fullness of this moment.

Buenos Dias... Popo, here I come :-)

A walk into the night

A white spray settling on lush green,
glistening in the soft moonlight.

The sight is like a texture in itself
but my heart could not resist the urge
to touch the soft wet blanket of grass.

I bend over and allow my fingers
to be swallowed by those tender blades.

Enraptured in the sheer luxury of the sensation
I spend the moment in pure bliss...

Life! That's the difference!
A fearless embrace to life!

I see it here.
I just heard its manifestation
in the most energized drumming I've ever heard.

Three men and one woman drumming
the beats of their lives... WIld and fReE

PoWErFUL and ecSTatiC

sYnChRoNiSeD and SOULful

and then the language... Spanish...
it rings out like the beats of the drums...

Tortas Cubana y Moca Frio! Ah!
Perfect companions for this night...

and this is the perfect end to a day in Puebla...
i walk back with a new found friend
walking by me like he has known me for years...
bright eyes... brisk steps... black, brown and white fur
thick and untidy like the hair on my head! :-)

In the search of Light

Shielded from the light
lies a dull gray sight.

Hidden amongst the gaudy shades
a masked world idly wades.

I search in vain for eyes that
hold a sign of truth, a fountain
bursting forth with
a manna that I call life.

The empty masks

The world's future leaders writhing together in hedonistic delight; empty and inane. I understand today the reason for most of the world's problems; It's power in the hands of these semi finished humans. Why! Why am I even in the vicinity of this ghastly display of nothingness!

It strikes me though that this is quite an accurate scale model of the real UN, conceptually speaking.

It is situations such as these that a phrase leaks out from my pit of unforgettable, redundant and putrid thoughts; "Work hard and party harder".

Isn't it a a chronic dearth in a passion for life and a reason for existence that drives humans into pursuit of such forms of escapism... I already know the answers but it was never reinforced so violently that draws from me only one declaration - never again.

Around me I sense the cause for the degraded fabric of our concept of humanity and suddenly i'm surrounded by a dark void... The only whole truth remaining is my own.

My song of freedom

Walking down this empty street
intrigued by her soul that weeps

I look beyond into the light
as the sun shines bright and dreams ignite

Of a world beyond
waiting to be found

I found a freedom never lost
only buried at too high a cost

Float above the mindless hoard
or crumble like a rusting sword

My heart, a pebble, rolling off the shore
soon to meet the endless ocean floor.

The vagabond

There was once a vagabond who lived beyond the realm of masks
He walked into the sunset knowing where he lay his head was home.

He gathered all his thoughts by day and caressed them by night
Embraced by frozen breeze he lay, upon the dusty earth.

Life was simple, the world was quaint and humans seemed alright.
He chose instead the mountains to call his home for life.

Solitude, his only friend whispered into his soul
the sounds of silence deepening the bliss his heart did hold.

Yet, one day, he woke up to find himself alone
Even solitude deserted him in this searing pain.

He hoped for only one thing then
it was a hope against all hope

It wrenched at the deepest corner of his heart
Where peace and bliss had once found abode.

He craved for just a moment shared
as his teary eyes closed to rest.

Rippling into eternity

There are times when I want time to stop, times when I forget about the notion of time and other times when I want time to fly by.

The last feeling is particularly unnerving because it would imply that I’m spending my time doing something I’m not passionate about and every moment of my life is simply too precious for that.

I felt like that a moment ago until I picked up my pen and began writing these words. “It must be my throbbing foot,” I think… No, the answer is deeper than that. Even though every step I take seems like an infinite agony being taken more on the strength of my will than my foot. I make this effort for what is to come.

An orchard of fresh blossoms awaits the demise of every tribulation. The space around me is redolent with the fragrance of my own being (and the wafting fragrances emanating from my sweaty socks). These are the moments that there is more to life than suffering. The fatigue and pain will soon wear off and I shall walk yet again into that mysterious horizon with undaunted steps emancipated from the burdens of convention.

Life is so simple. I strived to understand it when it seemed like a blurry vision similar to what one would encounter in the 10th round of a fight. I’m into my 11th round and my vision is returning, my moves are more agile and I take hits so scarcely that I’m overcome with a desire to self-inflict some shots just to know what it felt like. All this while thinking, “What next?”

Why not try to understand the mysteries of creationism as against evolution? It reminds me of my voyage, not that long ago, into the murky realm of religion to unravel its evasive rationale. I found my answers. Now, I feel like moving on to another question.

There are always higher peaks to climb. But, there may also come a time when I look down and feel completely comfortable with my perch with no stabbing desire to climb anymore, not because I lost the passion for it but simply because I am perched on the highest peak there is. I have realized my true nature, beyond human limits. I wonder what it would feel like to stop and smell the flowers in the lush gardens of my memories of moments that I treasure most. I wonder what it would feel like to lie amongst these and die.

Until then, I climb.

Happiness

Ubiquitous yet surreal. This term has entered the lives of some while evading the understanding of most.

My understanding of the world is broadened by the scope of my experience and deepened by my understanding. While sitting back and looking inward, molds the shapeless mounds of knowledge and observations, leaning forward into this magnificent potpourri called the world is the other part of this little jigsaw puzzle called life.

In one of my previous blogs, I had written about the one thing that binds every single human on earth. His or her pursuit of happiness.

Trying to establish a uniform definition of this term is the most illogical act one could indulge in. How can there be uniformity in the experience of a sensation that is common to such a heady diversity!

In the field of politics, for instance... Everyone is trying to make someone else happy so that, somewhere down the line their own happiness is ensured. Is it?

Most of the ambitious people around me want to change the world. I find the world perfectly fine. Though I have absolutely nothing against their perceptions or existence, I wonder what drives them to desire changing the world then? Do they honestly believe that the world could be more peaceful, less bloody, more rational, less complicated, more happy, less tragic, more predictable, less exciting? Well, I don't. Call me a hopeless optimist, if you like! ;-)

So, what is this evasive concept of happiness? wrong question.

So, what is my concept of the pursuit of happiness? - To be.

It is this concept that connects people, builds understandings, nurtures relationships, breeds beauty, transcends conventions, unfolds passion and sparks new life.

The shit and the flowers

"The world is a fucked up place!", a friend once told me. I quite agreed with him back then and do so with even more fervor today.

The world is pretty fucked up. We have communal riots, wars, corrupt politicians, ecological disasters, cheating traders, lecherous humans, parasites, bureaucrats, murderers, flippant youth, senile old folk, poverty, disease, religion, mindlessness, altruism, ineptitude, wastage, ignorance, the list is endless and i'll spare myself the boredom of enumerating every misery we encounter.

So, let me get on with my world. We have revolutions, change, peace, nirvana, innocence, children, selfishness, science, freedom, knowledge, causes, brilliance, beauty, music, pleasure, strength, action, integrity, courage, skill, passion, hope, individuality and bliss.

We have the Ying and the Yang, we have the darkness and the torchbearers, we have it all.

Every single one of us plays our part. The universe is structured around this single binding principle.

"Life is a stage and we are all but actors". Shakespeare couldn't have put it better.

We are actors indeed. Our roles and our characters are not a dance of divine elements but a result of the zillions of big and small choices that have steered us into this wonderful moment called the present.

I look around me and feel it all around. This dance. Let myself flow? Why not? That is my role... To wander down the alleyways of life smelling the shit and the flowers... Fighting and dancing... laughing and crying...

I catch myself going rigid... and relieve myself of the burden with that wonderful phrase... "Why not!" It isn't a question. It's the ultimate embrace, a bear-hug to life itself. A proclamation that I'm not afraid of being myself and I'm not afraid of change.

I think of the people that matter most... They are islands in themselves not convoluted parasites sucking off the sap from the shrubs that cower from the sunlight ashamed of their very existence.

I'm an Island... I have within me cliffs and valleys, beaches and trees, birds and breeze and wings of my own... I'll rest and I'll fly again... That's the reason I am. I look across into the clear horizons dotted erratically with other islands, some lush green and some dry and sinking. Their fragrances waft towards me with the sea breeze.

Then I come back to where I am... This laptop, the books, the university, the people, the inanities, the facades, the knowledge, the experience, the moments, the challenges, the wastage, the risks... I look at it all and smile.

Why should I let it affect me? On the other hand, why not? Let it affect me... I'd like to see how deep it gets. Kick me in my ass as hard as you possibly can, I'd like to know how much it hurts.

I live in me, and nothing around me can change that. The world is already mine just as it is yours. I'll decide any moment to fly and until then keep kicking and I'll keep smiling.

रौशनी की एक पल

शमा के बुझने के पहले उटथी है ऐसी ज्वाला
जिसमे जल मरने का भी कोई गम नही
उस एक पल की ज़िंदगी के लिए मौत भी कम कीमत है

Cradle Song

What does little birdie say
In her nest at peep of day?
Let me fly, says little birdie,
Mother, let me fly away.
Birdie, rest a little longer,
Till thy little wings are stronger.
So she rests a little longer,
Then she flies away.

What does little baby say,
In her bed at peep of day?
Baby says, like little birdie,
Let me rise and fly away.
Baby, sleep a little longer,
Till thy little limbs are stronger.
If she sleeps a little longer,
Baby too shall fly away.

-Alfred Tennyson

Ecstacy

Free. Potent. Ecstatic. Infinite.

Surrender

Complete surrender to whatever life has to offer.

Tender and opening up like the petals of a flower.

A strange confluence of strength, tranquility and effervescence emanates from this vision...

Michelle

Michelle. My home for a long time. I've explored alleyways, jungle paths and expressways riding her. The pillion seat has been the perch of some wonderful people with my arms perpetually on the throttle.

Saying goodbye to her was like bidding farewell to the moments that had gone by. Moments that I cherished and treasured in the depths of my heart. It hurt but, only to a certain extent.

I will ride into the horizons once again.

This is what I wrote the first time I rode her.

The fatigue of the day
deflated by this moment of flight,

the darkness washed out
by a beam of light.

My heart beats in a body of steel
fueled by the vision of the road, i feel.

The Kashmir Conundrum

Kashmir – An area of conflict in South Asia that hasn’t seen peace, freedom and security for a very long while. After several hundred years of imperial rule, part of Kashmir became a part of the Secular, Democratic, Republic of India while the other part became a part of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. A minute section of Kashmir is also occupied by China.

The History of the state is the key to understanding the basis of the Indo-Pak conflict and also offers the means for a peaceful resolution of the issue. The last ruler of Kashmir was Maharaja Hari Singh, a man who was despised predominantly by the Muslim population of Kashmir for his autocratic and anti-Islamic regime. It is Hari Singh who handed Kashmir over to the Government of India through a document of Accession which many claim he had no right to write in the first place by virtue of his lack of control over the Islamic rebel groups in his own kingdom.

This is where the feud between India and Pakistan began; over who had a claim over the territory of Kashmir. Pakistan chose to separate itself from India as a nation built for the Muslims because they felt marginalized in India. They claim Kashmir due to its Muslim majorities and India claimed Kashmir by virtue of the accession document signed by the Maharaja.

The real reasons are the strategic importance of the region in terms of Defense and Trade along with its abundant natural resources like water supply and the potential for agriculture. These reasons, along with a strong tendency towards power-play, are apparently sufficient for both countries to wage large scale conventional wars (1947, 1965 and 1971).

There are blatant human rights violations in the area coupled with a severe lack of development and employment opportunities that lead inevitably to large sections of the Kashmiri population living in conditions of fear, anger and squalor. They have not yet been given the right to exercise their will in this matter. This has led to the growth of various militant organizations in the region that oppose the oppression of the Indian Government. These “freedom fighters” are labeled terrorists by the Indian government justifying their military pressure over the entire civilian population in the area.

In 1947, when the Kashmir issue was first referred to the United Nations, India did not want to be at an equal footing with Pakistan while Pakistan was openly hostile towards the Indian Government. On 31^st December 1947, Nehru wrote to the UN Secretary-General:

“To remove the misconception that the Indian Government is using the prevailing situation in Jammu and Kashmir to reap political profits, the Government of Indian wants to make it very clear that as soon as the raiders are driven out and normalcy is restored, the people of the state will freely decide their fate and that decision will be taken according to the universally accepted democratic means of Plebiscite or Referendum.”[1]

More than 50 years have gone by and the Kashmiris are still not acquainted with “normalcy”. They still have not had the (long overdue) plebiscite.

India’s stand was that, Kashmir was formally a part of India according to a legal agreement with the Maharaja to this effect and that any claim to any part of Kashmir by Pakistan is illegitimate.

Pakistan was of the opposite view where it felt that the Maharaja was driven out of his country by the people of Kashmir and that he had no authority to hand over the state which wasn’t under his control anyway. This nullifies any agreement made between the Government of India and the Maharaja.

Another dimension to this problem is the Pakistan sponsored jihad that was responsible for flushing out more than 2 lakh Kashmiri Pandits from the region ensuring a Muslim majority in case of a plebiscite. This endless muscle play by both India and Pakistan is obviously not going to lead to a sustainable solution. It is about time that we started considering a real solution.

The road ahead

The most pragmatic solution to this dispute comes from an unlikely source… Pakistan’s Military Dictator, General Pervez Musharraf. His commitment to humanitarian issues can definitely be questioned in the light of his ongoing feud with the rest of Pakistan for keeping power in an extremely undemocratic fashion. However, if one ignores the nature of the source of these suggestions, they are absolutely logical. The proposal included a four-point formula that addresses the key problems to this conundrum:

1. Demilitarization of the disputed area.

This would be done by both sides; India and Pakistan in tandem with a UN sponsored cease fire leaving room for organizing a plebiscite in the area.

2. Self Government.

Self-Government by the Kashmiris implies that both India and Pakistan will need to bring the Kashmiri interests to the table and add them to what has become a bilateral argument involving only Indian and Pakistani interests. Let the Kashmiris decide what they want.

3. Softening of existing borders.

The primary reason for the existence of hostilities amongst India and Pakistan is Kashmir. Once the region is divided according to the plebiscite, there will be no reason to have gargantuan armed forces regiments posted in the area leaving room for more productive interactions like trade and development. This can be achieved through creating, in phases, a permeable border amongst India and Pakistan.

4. International supervision and guarantee from the UN and major regional powers.

International supervision is necessary to ensure that both sides are operating in the interests of the people caught in the crossfire. The border drawn after the plebiscite and division of Kashmir will need to be recognized by the international community.

The plan is quite straight forward. However, implementing this plan is another challenge altogether with the primary obstacle being India’s unwillingness to give up territory. The Government of India will have to be convinced about its priorities. Territory comes after people. The people of Kashmir are suffering and are being driven into desperation. This could pose a serious law and order situation in India through the coming years with an increase in the already high levels of “terrorist” infiltrations across the country.

So put simply here is the solution I propose; i propose a referendum in the area. Follow it through in collaboration with Pakistan. The "terrorism" will subside. Draw an international boundary. Reduce expenditure on military. Divert these finds to Jammu and Ladakh redevelopment. Relocate the Kashmiri Pandits and print new maps. I am quite aware of the excruciating (almost intolerable) simplicity of this plan. The complications pour in when we start thinking about its implementation.

For starters, the Indian public also needs to be made aware of the situation that prevails in Kashmir today. The Government has skillfully kept this away from them through manipulation of the mainstream media. Demanding accountability and productive action from the Government of India should be the first step preceding international pressure through sanctions and power play. There is a severe dearth of objective, unbiased information about Kashmir. This will take a lot of courage from the Indian media… to stand up for what they were built to do; defend the truth.

I speak only of India because Pakistan is prepared to sit across the table and talk about trade-offs. India currently lacks the political will to do so. The people need to take up the initiative to push for political action.

This is an urgent situation that requires immediate remedial action before it exacerbates into uncontrollable dimensions. Let this be the last generation of children who grow up in Kashmir amidst the sounds of explosives and gunshots. Let this be a true test of the Indian democracy.

--------------------------------------------

Statutory warning: This article is purely my opinion and can be potentially undermined for the lack of primary data. I have not visited the region of conflict yet. The information that has led to the formation of my opinion has its origins in the data collected by NGOs, International organizations and publications on this issue. These have been largely neutral sources. I also attended a conference on the issue which was scathingly biased towards an independent Kashmir at all costs. There were a plethora of testimonials that corroborated the human rights violations as a result of Indian forces in the region. It was silent about the situation on the Pakistani side of Kashmir.

Now assuming that there are human rights violations happening on the Pakistani side as well (which is extremely likely as well), does that undermine my argument for a plebiscite or strengthen it? It does not take a very wise man to decide.

The conclusion and primary argument of my article is to hold a plebiscite and not to play a blame game. Most of the Indian readers who have criticized this argument profusely have done so on the premise that one cannot trust Pakistani action. India, in their opinion, has lost a lot of blood on this issue already. My question to this is whether that was necessary. Also, is the Indian blood all that matters? What about the Pakistanis and the "collateral damage"? Maybe they just deserved to die right.

The reason my country has drawn so much of my criticism is perhaps because it matters to me when their democratic stance seems like a facade that can be adorned depending on the circumstances. Also, I find it terribly inappropriate that the tax money of millions of citizens is spent on war supplies when the matter can be resolved through political will and action.

Yes, this might seem anti-Indian or outright heresy coming from an Indian. A splatter of rationality with a dash of detachment from nationalistic tendencies could straighten that perception out.

-------------------------------------------

[1] Jawaharlal Nehru, as quoted in Korbel, Danger in Kashmir, p. 98.

The responsibility to protect

The responsibility to protect refers to the right for a country to Prevent, Respond and Rebuild in the context of what it perceives as a violation of global interests by another country. This violation is usually on humanitarian grounds like those happening in Palestine or Sudan or Kashmir.

Before embarking on trying to assimilate this theory let me make one thing very clear. No country operates on any ground other than its own national interest. That is the reason they are countries in the first place. Simply put, countries are simply not driven by the altruistic motive of welfare to all. They will do something if they benefit from it.

The US is the perfect example of this. They claim that spreading democracy is their primary goal. Bullshit! To keep this free from frills. They perceive a national threat in countries moving towards communism. Politics is nothing but power play and leftist governments are a threat to American power. Just to elaborate on the hypocrisy of the altruistic idea... Look at China! Sino-American relations have always been strangely conducive apart from occasional hiccups ever since Kissinger had this marvelous brainwave of using befriending the Dragon. The reason America liaised with China in the first place was its economic and political potency and to use it as a tool to curb the growth of the more threatening Soviet expansion. I would also like to bring in the massive opprobrium that have been brewing in South American leftist regimes against the US muscle play. However, I'll keep this focused.

The primary shortcomings in the responsibility to protect can be substantiated in two essential questions:

1. Who enforces this responsibility?
2. What about the sovereignty of states and their right to reject incursion?

This responsibility is given to a nation by whom? International organizations one might say... The United Nation? :-) We all know where that is going to lead... a veto! Because ther is not such thing an an International Organization. The UN is a negotiation desk for pursuing National interests.

By what right does one nation intrude on the affairs of other nations? To make things simpler... by what right does the US intrude into the affairs of Iraq? All states have the right to sovereignty. So theoretically speaking Iraq has the right to determine what happens within its borders because of its right to sovereignty.

The next issue is how should one define sovereignty? A state that cannot protect its citizens anymore obviously cannot be considered sovereign. The very reason for the existence of a government is the protection of the citizens it governs. If this does not exist, how can the sovereignty exist. Natural disasters, Genocide, Military oppression lead to the loss of sovereignty of a state. This is a purely logical thought.

Now does the loss of this sovereignty justify intrusion of another nation in the affairs of the victim? When national interest is at stake, of course it does. But, let us not label it as service to mankind.

The way I see things, the primary responsibility of remaking the sovereignty of a nation is with its citizens. This is what any intrusion must stress on - creating a system of referendums within a nation rising from the aftermath of a revolution or disaster. This is why states are not the optimal medium to put into effect such a referendum. They will be biased towards serving their own needs (even at the cost of others). A truly supranational organization could be of real help here. That was what the UN was intended to be. I hope that reforms are heading in this direction.

Jonathan Livingstone Seagull

One evening the gulls that were not night-flying stood
together on the sand, thinking. Jonathan took all his courage
in hand and walked to the Elder Gull, who, it was said,
was soon to be moving beyond this world.

"Chiang..." he said a little nervously.

The old seagull looked at him kindly. "Yes, my son?"
Instead of being enfeebled by age, the Elder had been empowered by it;
he could outfly any gull in the Flock,
and he had learned skills that the others
were only gradually coming to know.

"Chiang, this world isn't heaven at all, is it?"
The Elder smiled in the moonlight.
"You are learning again, Jonathan Seagull," he said.

"Well, what happens from here? Where are we going? Is there no such

Place as heaven?"

"No, Jonathan, there is no such place.
Heaven is not a place, and it is not a time.
Heaven is being perfect." He was silent for a moment.  
"You are a very fast flier, aren't you?"

"I... I enjoy speed," Jonathan said, taken aback but proud that the

Elder had noticed.

"You will begin to touch heaven, Jonathan,
in the moment that you touch perfect speed.
And that isn't flying a thousand miles an hour,
or a million, or flying at the speed of light.
Because any number is a limit and perfection doesn't have limits.
Perfect speed, my son, is being there."

The Haze

When does the world around not matter?

Why do these sights dissolve into a hazy mosaic of colors? ... like a palette waiting to be used to transform everything I see.

I am the artist of my life... and I choose to take those colors and create a whirlpool of experiences, a storm of sensations and I shall dwell in the eye of that storm.

My cup of answers runneth over.

Feel

There is a river of life bursting within you... Surely, Steadily.
There is an ebullient fountain of fantasies quenching the thirst of your desires.

Strumming the strings of your heart, are the rhythms of your world.
All you've got to do is close your eyes and feel them.

Discard that wooden mask you call your friend.
Discover that tender flesh that envelops you like a gentle armor.

Let yourself flow with the currents of the river
as the cool breeze of wisdom caresses carelessly.

Then there are those shards of rock piercing your skin,
as you climb towards the acme of liberation.

Your life started as a dream that turned into a legend imprinted on the sands of a shore
to be washed into the endless oceans like countless others who came before you.

Why?

It's the one question that can topple the monolith of pretenses. Forget every axiom, every convention, everything "normal", look yourself in the eye and ask yourself this. Dig deep into the depths of your soul... Cleave through the undergrowth of conditioning... Hack those dead stumps... clear the field... because you are about to sow the seeds of your essence.

Every answer to the question "Why?" is a seed sown. Every confirmation of that answer from your interaction with the world around is fertilizer. Every action taken on the basis of that idea is water.

Some answers will not be very appealing... some will threaten to tear you apart with grief or anger... some might deflate that image you have of yourself... What matters is that you know it is the truth. What matters is that you aren't fueling your own facade by sowing dead seeds.

The only reason to do this is to run your fingers through that golden harvest even if it is just once before winter sets in.

My little one

Stumble, my little one,
fall and learn to rise again.

Smile, my little one,
for yourself and not the world around.

Learn, my little one,
that's the one treasure you always keep.

Rejoice, my little one,
every moment is a reason enough.

Fight, my little one,
you win or lose but don't give up.

Love, my little one,
start with yourself and then move on.

Remember, my little one,
moments past are a sanctuary of lessons.

Cherish, my little one,
all the dew drops that fall into your hands.

Listen, my little one,
the world around is singing to you.

Think, my little one,
for yourself without another's crutch

Fly, my little one,
with truth and strength into the light.

Stop!

My body says stop... my spirit cries... NEVER!

We set our own limits. We run our own races. We fight our own battles. We bear the full weight of that sword... and when we are done running and fighting, we can look back and smile... smile at the passion, the glory, the sensations, the memories, the connections and then look into our hearts and smile at a life well lived.

I want to smile at death just as I smiled at life not because I believe in an afterlife but because I have been alive and squeezed every drop of life out of this journey. I have lived, loved, shared, grown, fallen, risen, hurt, been hurt, experienced, learned, feared, fought and stand this day facing my own soul, naked and proud, ready to put a full stop to a poem well written... But, not just yet!

If

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

Dewdrop

Wake up to the sun's embrace
and nature in eternal grace.

A soul immersed in solitude
knows not the rules of mindless feud.

My soul is such amidst a crowd
that dwells in lives both crass and loud.

I look instead into the light
that just washed out the dead of night.

and behold the miracle of a sun on earth
glistening with radiance that knows no dearth.

I smile upon my precious dewdrop
as it twinkles of its own accord.

Romance

What does this word do to you?

Do you think of love, bollywood and glitz?

or of a world... flushed with color and life, a world where the sky is a deep blue, interrupted only by the ragged gray mountains beckoning to your spirit, you look down to see a lush green welcoming you into its soft and endless bosom. The trees around are flowering and strong... You look down at your feet... just as strong, your arms... craving for action... you feel the breeze brushing against your naked brow, teasing your hair... the grass pushing through your toes and you realize that this is the moment you have been created for, this moment of ecstasy... just before flight... like a fountain that breaks through the rocks... like a child who learns to stand... like a moment of life multiplied a hundred times packed into a single instant.

Your pulse races as your feet lift off and you fly..... fly towards that endless horizon... a horizon blurred my seamless stretched of peaks... a horizon crying out with promise... the cries echoing in every corner of your soul... cries of delight, cries of victory, cries of passion...

Romance is wonderful!

A large part of the world would view it as baseless and fanciful. My question to them is this... Is the condition of the human spirit not a base? Isn't creation of a parallel realm of life a simple manifestation of the colors of your own soul? Why treat reality as a purely normative phenomenon?

The gift of expression is irreplaceable! Most importantly to understand yourself.