The burning rocks almost roasting my hands with every touch, the rubble under my feet almost encouraging me to fall, the sun generously throwing upon us light and heat, much more than we need as though benevolence was it's only form of spite. Mouth parched and head reeling as i was drained of every drop of water that kept me moving.
The world below seemed as far as a dream. The world above seemed closer than usual. Yet, no prayers, no wishes & no doubts... only a concentration more intense than the heat of the rocks, a will to live, more acute than the blazing sun. Every step upward was a feat requiring every ounce of strength and determination that i could muster. Yet, there seemed a mysterious infinite supply of this which never waned. I still feel it beating within me at this very moment.
We reached the pinnacle, my two friends and me. Friends, because we had trusted each other with our lives and also because we shared this moment of ecstasy together. What we felt on the top was not pride, not even close to pride. We were aware of our achievement and of our will to live especially in the heat of this moment. Their eyes were exuberating contentment. Mine must have radiated that too because we didn't fluster when looking each other in the eye. We understood completely.
My fear of heights had drastically reduced as we headed downwards. Fear needs food. Our thoughts are it's food. The more we think about it, the stronger it grows. Acceptance of fear is the first step to annihilate it. I faced my fear in the form of a rocky ledge with nothing below but the world which was a dream. Nothing even to break my fall. Stepping over that ledge was my passport to freedom...freedom from fear. I have never loved my life as much as I did at the moment I led my feet over the edge, into the embrace of nothingness.
Well, I'm here today in the comfort of a chair, privileged enough being able to type this out.
After a spell of suffering and numbness there comes a unique spell of euphoria. A feeling where every moment earned henceforth is a reason for jubilation.
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3 comments:
Hey did you try out bungee-jumping or what?? I understand what it takes to kill fear...I have been trying every single day, when I go for swimming and am just not able to remove the fear of drowning myself...
nope, just cliff climbing and susequently alternating our descent with rappelling and free-hand... hmm... have you tried jumping off a boat in the middle of nowhere?
Got the picture of a place like the one described in the beginning of Fountainhead...Has the same feel to it.
P.S. Cudnt jump into the familiar neighborhood swimming pool meself -- forget middle of nowhere :O
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